


Paper Dreams

by sakabelle



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, M/M, post-university
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-26
Updated: 2018-01-26
Packaged: 2019-03-09 21:35:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 29,810
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13490241
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sakabelle/pseuds/sakabelle
Summary: “It's been four months, Niall,” he can still hear Liam's upbeat voice annoying him in his mind. “Time to go out with someone else and get over it. Come on, I'll set you up.”Niall was caught completely off guard when Harry announced he was moving to LA and ending their relationship of three years.Now, he's sitting in a pub waiting for a blind date of all things. Little does he know who he's about to meet – Louis, a cheeky boy who's far too proud of his Green Day cover band. He's the polar opposite of Harry, but his sarcasm and bright smile might just end up being Niall's perfect match instead of a distraction from his misery. As the two of them fumble their way through a new relationship, Niall realises that Louis is just as lonely as he is. He's just better at hiding it.





	Paper Dreams

**Author's Note:**

> WOW I can't believe I actually finished this. Thank goodness for that break between Christmas and New Year's where I was able to finish the last 2/3 of this after it sat stagnant on my laptop for two months.
> 
> I have quite a few people to thank for all their help! First, to Caitlin and Cara of Talk Direction. Their analysis of Niall's Too Much to Ask and the thought that he might be waiting for a blind date had me running to Starbucks that evening to pound out the first scene. This wouldn't exist if it wasn't for them. Love you girls x
> 
> To [mycroftpoppins](http://archiveofourown.org/users/mycroftpoppins) who read over the entire thing and fixed all of my typos and listened when I whined about how scenes were just not working – you are the best. Thank you so much for taking the time to read this and give me feedback!! Love ya! X (PS she's an amazing writer in her own right and she's got new narry fics in the works!)
> 
> And to my real-life creative writing group who let me read scenes aloud and were super accepting of the fact that I take One Direction fanfic way too seriously. You guys are great.

Niall cups his hands around the cool pint glass. He takes a deep breath to calm the nerves in his chest. It's just a date. He's been on thousands of them before. Well, maybe not thousands. Maybe hundreds. And if he's being honest with himself, most of them were with the same person. Not that it matters anymore.

It's loud in the pub. He takes another deep breath and glances around. He's chosen a seat close to the door so he can see him as soon as he walks in. The boy that Liam insisted he go out with.

“It's been four months, Niall,” he can still hear his friend's upbeat voice annoying him in his mind. “Time to go out with someone else and get over it. Come on, I'll set you up.”

He looks up as the door opens. Sure enough a boy walks in alone. Niall squints. Maybe he should've worn his glasses. The boy's got shaggy brown hair, he's wearing ADIDAS track pants and a jumper. He's a bit unshaven.

This must be him.

The boy glances around the pub, craning his neck and obviously trying to pick Niall out of the crowd. After a couple seconds, Niall catches his eye. The boy studies him for a second, probably going over the checklist in his head of what he's been told Niall looks like. Finally, he nods to acknowledge him and walks over to the bar to get a drink.

Niall gulps again. Suppose he can't leave now. Not that he would, but it’s nice to entertain the thought when he’s just sitting here, waiting. He taps his foot against the wooden floor and glances around. It's absolutely packed in the Brown Cow tonight. Not that he had any doubts – it is a Friday, after all.

He catches a glimpse of the boy picking up his pint off the bar and instantly he looks down at his hands. God, why'd he agree to this? He should've told Liam to fuck off and that he was fine.

“Hi,” the boy says, standing at the opposite end of the table. He sets his drink down and extends his hand. “Louis.”

Niall grabs his hand and shakes his quickly. “Niall,” he says with a nod of his head as Louis sits down across from him.

“Oh, thank god,” Louis laughs, leaning back in his chair. “Wouldn't that have been awkward?”

Niall forces a smile on his face. “Almost as awkward as a blind date, then?”

Louis chuckles again, taking a sip of his beer. “Almost. But you've got a bit of a head start on me, at least.” He motions to Niall's half-finished pint. “What's that? Guinness?”

Niall shrugs. He doesn't usually go for Guinness, but tonight he figured he could use a familiar comfort. “Yeh.”

Louis nods. “Never did care for that stuff. I prefer an Old Tripp myself.”

Niall raises his eyebrow. “Old Tripp tastes like old piss,” he can't help but quip, cracking a grin on his face.

“Cheeky! I do like a bit of that. So tell me, what do you do?”

Niall sighs, taking a long sip of his pint. What does he do? Well, at least that's easy. “Workin' over at Capital,” he says.

“Like, Capital FM?” Louis clarifies, his eyes growing a bit wide.

“Yeh, don't get too excited, it's not that glamorous,” Niall laughs a bit. “I just do a bit of editing for their sound bytes and whatnot. First job outta Uni, can't be too picky.” He shrugs his shoulders. “Pays the bills, at least.”

“Right... you live in this area then?”

Niall nods. At least this part is easy. He can just talk about the mundane aspects of his life and leave out the shitty bits. “Yeh, got a flat just up the road. Moved in... maybe six months ago?”

Louis takes another thoughtful sip of his pint, like he's trying to absorb what Niall's telling him. “And you must've gone to Uni here... at Western, with Liam, right?”

“Yup. Moved here from Ireland.”

“Shocking.” A smirk plays on Louis's face. “Dublin?”

Niall shakes his head. “Mullingar... maybe an hour out?”

Louis nods and takes another sip of his pint. They've obviously hit the end of introductory information about Niall. Niall licks his lips. He might as well ask about Louis. It's not that he doesn't care... he just hates small talk and he'd much rather be at home. He'd probably be wallowing in his own self-pity, but at least he'd be comfortable.

“That's why you've got that bit of an Irish accent,” Louis says, trying to imitate Niall. It's borderline at best, but Niall shakes his head and covers his face all the same. He always gets second-hand embarrassment from those sorts of things.

“Oh god, don't do that... so what d'you do?” He changes the subject.

“Well, I work in a chippy. Actually, it's in Leicester Square too, close to Capital,” he says, looking more proud than he ought for a confession like that.

Niall raises his eyebrow. “You moved from... somewhere northern, I take it... to work in a chippy?”

Louis snorts. “Not quite, and I moved from Donny... er, Doncaster.”

Niall nods, taking another sip and licking his lips. Shit, a few more minutes and he's gonna need another pint. Not that it would be the worst thing.

“Anyway, by day I work in the chippy, by night I'm in a Green Day cover band.”

Niall furrows his eyebrows. What the hell kind of guy did Liam set him up with? A deadbeat in a tracksuit who hasn't got a real job and who plays in a shit version of a band that still exists? He resolves right then and there to stop whining to Liam about his fucked up love life. Not if Liam thinks  _ this  _ is what's best for him.

“A Green Day cover band?” Niall asks instead of saying any of those things. Because he's nothing if not nice. Too nice, in fact. Bending over backwards for everyone else and not doing a damn thing for himself. “What're ya called?”

“Boulevard of Dreams,” Louis says, and he says it so confidently that Niall can't help but burst out laughing.

“Isn't the song called  _ Boulevard of Broken Dreams?” _

Louis smiles. He doesn't appear offended by Niall's outburst at all. He just looks at him and raises his glass. “Gotta keep that future positive, don't we?”

“So ya get famous and overtake the real Green Day?” Niall knows he's being a bit of an arse, but he really can't help taking the piss out of Louis. At least Louis doesn't seem to mind.

“Maybe! You should come see us play sometime. It's good fun... actually...” he glances around and looks back at the stage area. “I think we've played here before.”

Niall shrugs. “Probably, they've got shite bands in here all the time.”

Louis laughs again. He makes sitting here seem so effortless. Like Niall's an old friend who's giving him shit instead of some guy he's only just met. “And who would you classify as a good band, then?”

Niall licks his lips and thinks about it. He doesn't even know. Maybe Fleetwood... but then he remembers Harry softly singing  _ Dreams  _ in his ear and his stomach twists up. He used to like  _ The Chain  _ too, but sitting on the tube with the lyrics  _ If you don't love me now / you will never love me again  _ blaring in his ear and reminding him of Harry have sort of ruined that too.

Maybe The Eagles. But  _ Desparado _ 's also on his playlist of heartbreak.

Fuck. What the hell did he listen to before Harry came into his life and made him into a music snob?

“Justin...Bieber?” he tries weakly.

Louis slams his hand down so hard on the table that both of their glasses shake. He bursts into laughter and puts his head down in his arm. “Justin...Bieber?!” he cries out through fits of laughter.

Niall rolls his eyes. Should've just said Fleetwood. Should've said The Rolling Stones. Should've said the fucking Backstreet Boys.

But no. He went with Justin Bieber.

“First,” Louis says, finally sitting back up and wiping tears out of his eyes. That's a bit dramatic, it isn't that funny! “Justin Bieber's hardly a band. Second,” he takes a moment to laugh again and finish the last sip of his beer. “He is truly terrible.”

Niall shrugs. “I like  _ Love Yourself.”  _ It's also on his melancholy playlist.

“Ed Sheeran wrote that. Try again.”

“Fine,” he says with a shrug. “I guess... I dunno. Oh, I like a bit of Oasis too.” As if that'll give him some more credibility.

Apparently it does, because Louis smiles again. This time it doesn't seem like he's about to laugh. “Yeah, they're good.”

“I can play Wonderwall on the guitar, actually.” He can't, not really. But Louis doesn't need to know that.

“Ah yeah? You'll have to show me one day. I've always wanted to learn how to play.”

Niall furrows his eyebrows. “Aren't you in a cover band? What do ya play?”

“I'm the lead vocalist.”

Now it's Niall's turn to bust into laughter. “There's no lead vocalist in Green Day! Billie Joe also plays the guitar. Shit.”

“Well there's five of us in the band so...”

“There's five of ya in the band!” Niall laughs again, then eyes his empty pint. “There's only three in the original. Fuck, if ya get another guy you could make another band.”

Louis chuckles. Niall can't help but notice how softly his lips curl up and his eyes crinkle at the sides. “I suppose we could. I'm gonna get another pint, you want?”

Niall nods. Yeah, maybe this isn't so terrible. At least they've got a bit of good banter going on. He reaches into the back pocket of his jeans to pull out some money, but Louis waves him off.

“It's on me, don't worry about it.”

Niall nods and watches Louis walk off. He folds his arms over his chest. He's only one pint in, and Louis isn't so bad. But when he looks over at another table and sees another couple, his heart breaks all over again.

At that same table five months ago Harry sat across from him, telling him he got a job in Los Angeles.

Niall's staring now. Off into space in the direction of the table and the stupid happy couple. The memory of Harry running his hand through his long hair and saying he's leaving replaying in his mind.

_ "I'm sorry,” Harry said, sounding anything but. _

_ "You're not though, are ya?” Niall clutched his pint. He stared down into it, suddenly feeling too ill to take another sip. _

“What's going on over there?” Louis asks, setting another pint of Guinness down in front of Niall and pulling him out of his thoughts. He sits back down and peers over to where Niall was looking. “Did they get into a row?”

Niall laughs. “No, just zoned out I suppose. Sorry, it's been a long week.” A long four months, really. But Louis doesn't need to know any of that.

“I hear that!” Louis says, raising his glass and motioning for Niall to do the same. They clink them together. “Thank god it's Friday! Even though I work at the chippy tomorrow.” Louis wrinkles his nose and then laughs again.

Niall takes a sip and he can't help but smile.

* * *

A couple hours and a few more pints later, Niall steps back into his flat. He sighs and leans back against the door before flicking on the light. At least now he doesn't have to put on a face anymore. Doesn't have to laugh at Louis's stupid jokes and come up with any of his own.

Maybe somewhere really, really deep down he enjoyed himself. But it's buried under a hell of a lot of memories of Harry. At least when he and Louis parted ways outside the pub, Louis didn't try to kiss him. Instead he just gave him a quick hug and said that they should meet again sometime.

Niall nodded and agreed, but it was empty. Louis probably isn't going to call him anyway. Niall's not sure if he cares or not. Maybe they had a couple good laughs, but it was nothing compared to the three years he shared with Harry.

He kicks off his shoes and stumbles over to his bedroom. Without bothering to even pull off his jacket or jeans, he lays down on his bed. Looking over at the wall, a lump starts to rise in his throat. Fucking Harry. He just up and left Niall here all alone, trying to figure out how to be a bloody adult all by himself. And having to go on blind dates on top of it? Ugh.

He rolls over onto his side and clutches at his comforter. It's the same one he had in Uni and it's the same one that he spent night after night tangled up in with Harry. It's those memories that start the rush of tears. He tries to blink them back at first, but it's futile. They fall down his face in long, silent streaks. Save for him occasionally gasping back a sob.

Fuck.

His phone buzzes in his pocket and Niall pulls it out and peers at it. The dim glow illuminates his face. He's glad no one else can see him, because he's probably a pathetic sight. There's just one text on the screen. It's from Louis.

_ Heyyyyy here's a video from a gig last month!! as you can see five people really fills the sound out!! _

There's a link to a YouTube video. Niall's still trying to steady his breathing and his mouth is still turned down, but he clicks on the link all the same. After watching about thirty seconds of shitty footage of Louis's band playing  _ Basket Case _ , he goes back to their conversation.

_ Yeh your not bad ! Reckon ya need a few more lads to really get the essence of the harmonies... _

He gets a text back almost immediately. And another one right after it.

_ Haha!! maybe youre right. _

_ Sooooo you wanna go out again next friday? _

Niall sighs. Louis is nice enough. But he's no Harry. He squeezes his eyes shut again and tries to will the tears back. Harry's gone, he reminds himself. He's gone and he's in LA and he's not ever coming back. Niall looks over at the single piece of loose-leaf on his bedside table. The same piece he's looked at every single night for the last four months.

_ Yeh. Course. Same time same place? _

Louis texts him back right away.

_ Yeah!! see u then _

Niall sighs, stuffing his phone underneath his pillow. He sits up, peeling his clothes off and tossing them onto the floor until he's stripped down to his Calvin's and socks. He crawls underneath the comforter and takes a deep breath.

He got through one date without Harry. He can get through another.

* * *

A week later, and he's back sitting in the same pub. He's at a table closer to the back this time, but he's still got his hands cupped around a pint of Guinness. Even though he's on another date he's not sure he wants to be on, he's compulsively early. So he just sits and waits until Louis finally shows up. Ten minutes after their meeting time.

“Hey,” he says, shrugging off his jacket and sitting down across from Niall. “Sorry I'm late. Tube delay. Did you eat yet? I was gonna order food.”

Niall did eat. Because his life is boring as shit and on the way home from work every day he picks up a chicken salad sandwich from Gregg's. Except on Wednesdays when his Hello Fresh delivery comes and he actually attempts the paint-by-number recipe.

“I did,” he says, taking a sip of his pint. “But I could go for chips if you're offering.”

Louis laughs and walks off. “Good man.”

Niall sighs, glancing around the pub again. There's a band getting set up in the back. There's a few scattered couples. There's a few groups of friends or coworkers being loud and relishing in the crisp November evening.

He stares down into his pint. This isn't how it should be. On a second date with some random guy that Liam knows. Harry should be here. He shouldn't have left for fucking LA. And though Niall copes with it fine during the week when he's working, it's moments like this when he remembers how lonely he is without him.

“There we go,” Louis says, once again pulling Niall out of his thoughts before he spirals into self-pity. “I hope they're not too backed up, I'm so hungry.”

“Don't you work in a chippy?” Niall asks, eyebrow raised.

Louis shrugs. “Yeah, but I don't want to eat that shit every day.”

Niall nods. That's fair enough.

Louis takes a sip of his pint and sighs. “So how was your week? Anything interesting happen at the office?” He smirks, as if he doesn't believe it's possible that Niall's mundane job could've had an interesting moment.

He's right. “Not really,” he says before he thinks for a second. “I saw Dua Lipa walk into the building on Tuesday.”

Louis laughs. “Right. That is interesting. You see a lot of celebrities come through there?”

Niall shrugs. “Not really. Taylor Swift was there once but she had the most intense security I've ever seen. Couldn't have got a glimpse of her if I wanted to.”

“And why would you want to?” Louis chuckles.

“Right.” Niall shifts uncomfortably in his seat. He's usually better at small talk, but this blind date is killing him. Even if it's not exactly a blind date. But he's so much better a relating to people he actually knows rather than people he doesn't. He bites the inside of his cheek. He supposes to get to that point he's actually got to try and get to know more people. Lord knows he can't stay hung up on Harry forever. “How was your week then? Got any gigs lined up?”

“Ah, yeah. It was good. I don't work on Mondays or Tuesdays but I pulled a double on Wednesday and the place was mad. Did you notice anything weird out there on Wednesday?” Louis cuts himself off.

Niall tries to think back. It's always busy in Leicester Square. Some days more than others, he doesn't recall Wednesday being that crazy though. Then again, he doesn't even go through the area proper. He takes a back exit to get to the tube station. That and he tends to get to work earlier so he can leave earlier and beat the rush of people on both ways.

“I didn't,” he finally says. “But I left work around half three.”

“Half three,” Louis smirks, crunching out the words and imitating Niall's accent. “Sorry, I just like the way you talk.”

“T'anks,” Niall says, feeling himself blush slightly. Good thing it's dark in here.

Louis smiles again. “Anyway... I guess it was later in the evening. But it was mad busy. We had a line out the door for what felt like an hour. I thought maybe there was something going on out there. You know how there's flashmobs and shit? I went and looked around after I was off but I couldn't see anything.”

Niall nods. There's always shit going on in Leicester Square. That's why he makes sure to get out of there as early as he can every day.

“You should come down to the chippy for lunch one day. I'll give you a deal.” Louis furrows his eyebrows. “You eat fish, right? You're not a vegan or some shit?”

Niall can't help but let out a laugh. “Uh, no.” Never mind that Harry tried to get him as close to being a vegan as possible. Making kale smoothies in the morning and the like. “Not in the least.”

Louis chuckles. “Good lad. Anyway, I worked late on Wednesday, obviously,” he stresses, thinking back to the rest of the week.”Had a pretty normal day on Thursday but we did have a rehearsal – oh!” He claps his hands together. “We've got a gig in a couple weeks! Playing down in a pub in Bracknell.”

“In Bracknell?!” Niall's eyes widen. Shit, that's far. It's at least a two hour train ride away. Not counting the time on the tube to get to Waterloo.

“Yeah, but I think um, Liam and Sophia are coming to watch...” Louis fumbles with his hands a little bit before shoving them into his pockets. Then he pulls them back out and cups them around his pint. “You could come too, if you want. No pressure.”

That's awfully forward. They've had a date and a half and Louis is asking him to make a trip all the way down to Bracknell to see his band. But it's not like he's doing anything else, either. He's literally got no plans ever. Except for Christmas when he's flying back to Ireland for four days. But that's nearly two months away still.

Niall shrugs. He doesn't exactly want to spend four hours on a train to and from Bracknell on the weekend, but what else is he gonna do? Besides, once Liam hears that he's been invited, he won't be able to get out of it anyway. “Sure, why not?”

Louis beams. “Fantastic! We'll take the train down together! It'll be fun.”

“What, you don't have a tour bus?” Niall jokes.

Louis snorts. “No.”

It's then that the waitress comes by their table. “Alright,” she says, standing beside the two of them. “I've got a Bangers and Mash.” Louis holds up his hand and she sets the deep plate in front of him. “And a side of chips.” She sets the second plate down in front of Niall. “Enjoy, lads.”

Niall doesn't waste any time in dousing his chips with malt vinegar. Between this and the beer, acid reflux is going to kill him later, but for now he doesn't care.

“Shit this is good,” Louis says after they eat in silence for a few minutes.

Niall nods. He's eaten in this pub hundreds of times. Usually on Saturdays when there's a band so he can sit at the bar and drown his thoughts away with beer, heavy food and loud music. Sitting here with Louis and remembering all these things that he really can't tell him is starting to shed light on how pathetic his life really is.

Maybe Liam wasn't wrong. Maybe dating someone new wasn't such a bad idea.

“Reckon your chips are better though,” he says with a smirk, before shoving one of the chips into his mouth. When did he remember how to flirt? He doesn't think he ever actually knew.

Louis rolls his eyes. “Gotta come by and try 'em before you make a comment like that.”

“Maybe I will.”

“You should.”

Niall gulps, thickly swallowing his food and washing it down with a generous sip of his Guinness. This is starting to get too far down a path he's not sure he wants to be on. He pulls it back. “What d'ya do when it gets busy in there like that? Like, when there's a line out the door?”

Louis shrugs. “Just keep making food. Can't call anyone in for backup cause it might be done by the time they get there, you know? So I just stay until it's died down.”

Niall nods. He's never really worked a job like that. Just left home to go to Uni and paid his bills with his student loans. Which he's slowly but surely paying back with his shit job at Capital.

The night goes on and once they're done eating and drinking a couple more pints, Niall finds himself standing outside the pub parting ways with Louis once again. Only this time it's slightly different. Louis shuffles on his feet as they stand outside.

“So...” he says, looking down at the ground and stepping closer to Niall.

Niall swallows. Louis is moving closer to him and he's staring at his face and shit, he's gonna kiss him. He can hear himself breathing louder, drowning out the muffled noises coming from inside the pub.

Louis leans in closer to him, touching his shoulder slightly before sliding his hand back onto Niall's neck. He parts his lips slowly and presses them against Niall's softly.

Niall freezes. The last person he kissed is Harry and now this other boy's kissing him, and he kind of likes it but fucking Harry's still in the back of his mind while Louis's hand's on the back of his head.

“Is this okay?” Louis whispers, pulling away from him slightly.

“Yeah,” Niall says, even though he's not sure it is. But that's not Louis's fault. “Yeah.” He leans in to Louis, kissing him again and pushing past any weird feelings he's having about Harry. Because Harry wouldn't give a shit if he was kissing someone else anyway... would he?

Niall grips the edge of Louis's jacket as he kisses him softly. He sighs when he pulls away, looking at Louis's soft brown eyes.

Louis smiles, but he doesn't lean in to kiss him again. Instead, he lightly strokes Niall's hair before pulling away. “See you next Friday, then?”

Niall smiles back. “Same time, same place?”

“Yeah.” Louis nods. “Have a good night, Niall.”

“Night,” Niall replies as he watches Louis turn and walk away.

* * *

It's a short walk back to his flat and Niall goes over the last three minutes of their date over and over again in his head the whole way. The way Louis's mouth felt against his own. The way his lips were rough and small, not soft and plump like Harry's. The way Louis smiled at him when they pulled away from each other.

His heart leaps in his chest uncomfortably. He's not sure if it's because he's nervous or because he enjoyed it. Maybe a bit of both. It's been so long since he had a first kiss with someone.

He hardly even remembers his first kiss with Harry. They were completely pissed after a party in the second year of Uni and it just sort of happened. It happened so fast that before Niall could register what was happening they were snogging in his bed in his dorm room. They probably would've slept together right then and there, if Liam hadn't walked in and turned on the light. His roommate bursting into giggles, falling into bed then proceeding to snore for the rest of the night really killed the mood.

Niall steps back into his flat and sighs. He hangs up his jacket and tosses his jeans and t-shirt into his laundry basket in the hallway. He crawls into bed wearing only his boxers and socks. He never used to sleep with sock feet, but his dorm room was always so cold that he just got used to it.

Liam always made fun of him for it. Harry never did.

Niall closes his eyes for a few minutes. He thinks about his kiss with Louis again until he pushes it out of his mind. The more he goes over it, the more he's going to obsess over it. Instead, he flicks on the light and picks up the piece of paper that's been sitting on his bedside table for the last four months. He doesn't know why he bothers reading it anymore – he's probably got every word memorized at this point.

Still, his eyes run over the black ink.

_ Niall, _

He rolls his eyes. Not “Pet,” not “Love,” not even a bloody “Dear.” Just his stupid name up there all by itself. That's how he knew it was bad when he first tore it open, standing in the lobby of his building on that warm July afternoon.

_ As you know I've been living in LA for a month now. It's been great and I've met a lot of great people here. I feel like I've become a whole new person. _

Niall rolls his eyes. Harry's always been LA. Even when they were in London he was an LA person, going to spin classes and shit.

_ This has been such a great opportunity for me. I'm learning a lot and really starting to settle into my life here. I think I'll fit in really well here in time. The only thing that's keeping me from feeling like I belong is that I've got this whole other life in London. _

Even though he knows it's coming, and even though he knew it was coming the first time he read it, his stomach still drops.

_ The time difference is really hard on me, and I feel like we're always missing each other. I find myself giving up on things so that I can talk to you on Skype. I think it'll be better for both of us if we just let this fade away. _

Fade away. Harry's stupid artistic way of speaking makes him sick.

_ We had some good times but now this relationship is just holding both of us back. I'll always think of you fondly. Maybe we can see each other if I'm ever back in London, but for now, please move on with your life without me. _

_ Harry _

Niall sighs and sets the letter back down on his night table. Who the hell even sends a letter? It's not like they couldn't talk or text, like they had been nearly every day since Harry decided to up and move to California. Niall rolls his eyes. It's just like Harry to write a fucking letter. To not be able to look him in the face when he told him that their relationship of three years was over, just like that.

Niall read it over three times before it finally sunk in. He was so angry at first that he didn't even cry. He just stood in the middle of his flat glaring at the piece of paper and torn up envelope not knowing what to do with himself.

He pulled out his phone, having half a mind to send Harry a text or call him. But instead he just let it go. The letter felt so final, and Niall was so enraged that he didn't even know what he'd say to Harry.

So instead he sent a text to Liam with a picture of the letter.  _ What the fuck?????  _ Was the only commentary he added.

_ Sorry mate  _ Liam texted him back after a few minutes.  _ But it's for the best isn't it? _

Niall remembers glaring at his phone screen. For the best? No it fucking wasn't. What would have been for the best would have been Harry not moving to LA at all. Or at least letting Niall in on his plans so Niall maybe could've gone with him. Instead he'd got a job and a flat and a place to live and then Harry decided to tell him he was leaving.

Not that Niall particularly wanted to live in California. But he would've done it. If it meant staying with Harry he would've gone anywhere.

He turns the light off and clutches his pillow. At least this time, he doesn't cry himself to sleep.

* * *

Niall sighs with annoyance the following Friday. He's standing outside the pub staring down at his phone. He shuffles on his feet. He should've checked on this before. Before he and Louis made plans.

The pub is busy as hell and there's a cover charge for twenty quid for the evening because there's some band playing. Some band that's more critically acclaimed than Louis's, anyway. Niall peers at the poster taped to the window. Picture This. He scoffs – he's never heard of them.

After a few minutes, Louis finally shows up. Ten minutes late – which he's quickly learning is as close as right on time as Louis is ever going to get.

“Heyyyyy...” Louis drawls out, glancing around and then looking at Niall. “Shall we go inside?”

Niall rolls his eyes dramatically. He shouldn't be as annoyed as he is by this, but it's the principle of the thing. They had a plan and now it's messed up. There's a reason he keeps his life so calculated and planned out. Because it's easier. Because he doesn't have to worry about shit on the spot. Sort of like he's having to do right now.

“There's a band,” he explains, motioning towards the pub. “There's um... there's a cover charge and it's packed in there.” He also doesn't want to admit this, but it's more the crowd than the money. Standing around in a loud and squished up pub with Louis for two hours isn't exactly his best idea of a date. His chest tightens at just the thought of it.

Louis walks over and looks at the poster on the window. “Picture This,” he reads out. “I've never heard of them.”

“Me neither.” Niall stuffs his hands into his pockets. “Don't exactly want to pay twenty quid to see them, so...” he trails off, giving Louis a look and hoping he'll fill in the rest. He doesn't really know what to do now.

“Could go to another pub?” Louis suggests, raising his eyebrow. “There's gotta be another one around here somewhere.”

Yeah, there is. The Durrell Armes is just down the street from the Brown Cow. But Niall hates it – he never goes there. It's always full of rowdy footie fans and though he likes a bit of footie, the crowd still squicks him out.

“I suppose,” he mutters. Maybe they don't need to go to a pub. Another idea pops into his head. One that has connotations he's not sure he's ready for. But the awkwardness of that is less than the idea of him having to sit in an uncomfortable setting with someone he doesn't know very well. “Unless... we could go back to mine?”

Louis gives him a bit of a look and Niall's heart leaps in his chest. He probably thinks he's propositioning him to come over under the guise of innocence, really suggesting that they're going to do a lot more than just sit around.

Niall gulps.

“Yeah...” Louis says, looking at Niall with a bit of a mischievous look in his eyes. “That's alright?”

Niall swallows again. “Yeh, sure,” he tries to play it off. Like he hasn't just basically asked Louis to spend the night naked with him. “Can just watch telly or whatever. Could order a pizza?” he offers.

Louis nods. “You read my mind.”

“Because you're starving?” Niall laughs, turning and starting to walk in the direction of his building.

Louis smiles. “Exactly.”

They walk quietly for a couple minutes, the cool cobblestone uneven underneath Niall's feet. He sighs, the cold air filling his lungs. He briefly wonders what the weather's like in California and if it's warmer than it is in London. He bites at the inside of his mouth – of course it is. California has one season, summer. Not even regular summer. A warm June evening with the beach in the background, salt water giving the air a damp humidity.

Niall blinks. He much prefers London anyway.

They turn a corner and Louis's hand brushes against his own. Before Niall can register what's happening, Louis laces their fingers together. It's a small gesture, but it fills Niall's chest with warmth. Instantly, he's forgotten about whatever the weather might be like on the West Coast. Now, he's focused on Louis's hand holding his own. He turns to smile softly at him and tries to ignore the worry that's creeping up inside him.

Louis smiles back. “It's a nice area,” he comments, looking around.

Niall nods. He does like Fulham. He's always liked Fulham, that's why he decided to move here after he finished Uni. It's close enough to central London, but far enough that it feels like his own small town. The hustle and bustle of the big city doesn't quite make it this far out to the southern outskirts.

He glances up at the trees as they turn down Munster Road. “I like it a good bit. It's quiet.”

Louis chuckles. “Except for when the pub is packed.”

Niall scowls. That's the one problem. Just because this place doesn't feel like London doesn't mean it's not. And sometimes the crowds will inevitably find him.

Just another reason why he could never live in LA.

“This is me,” he says as they approach a small building. It's only about five stories tall. There's a white exterior, but it could use a paint touch up. It's peeling off near the front door, but Niall doesn't mind. If anything, it adds to the charm of the place. He pulls out his keys and opens the door, leading Louis up the staircase to his third story flat.

He takes a deep breath before opening the door. He flicks on the light and pulls off his jacket, hanging it on one of the hooks beside the door.

Louis does the same. “Nice place,” he says, glancing around.

Niall gives it a good once over to make sure it's presentable. Even though it most definitely is. He never leaves anything out of place and he reserves Saturday mornings for cleaning up. He walks over to the kitchenette and opens one of the drawers. The one that holds the few take out menus and the Hello Fresh recipe cards that he saves on the off chance he decides to attempt to make one of them again.

“There's a Pizza Hut that's nearby,” Niall says, looking over the menu. “There's also a Chinese food place... oh, there's a curry place...”

“Pizza's fine,” Louis says as he walks over to Niall's couch. It's not that nice of a couch – just a cheap one he bought at IKEA. It's dark blue and it's got wooden arms on either side. Just big enough for two people to sit on because when Niall bought it he never thought he'd need anything bigger. Anything that offered enough space between two people who didn't need to worry about their legs touching. “What'cha got on telly?” He picks the remote off of the table. The table matches the arms of the couch – a wooden one with a light staining. “Oooh, Netflix. There we go.”

Niall looks around his flat. He never realised how much it looks like an IKEA showroom until this second. Louis doesn't seem to notice, or if he does, he doesn't say anything. He sighs and pulls his phone out of his pocket, pressing the numbers for Pizza Hut before he stops. Shit, he doesn't know what Louis wants. He was just about to order what he usually orders for himself.

“Um...” he starts. Louis looks away from scrolling through Netflix and over at Niall. “What kinda pizza ya want?”

“Doesn't matter,” Louis says, turning back to the screen. “Pepperoni? Or Pepperoni and Mushroom. Oh, get some green peppers on that too.”

Niall shakes his head. That hardly sounds like it “doesn't matter” but he calls and orders a large pizza with all those toppings on it. And an order of cheese bread for good measure.

“Half an hour,” he says, sitting down next to Louis. Louis shuffles over, but there's not really a lot of space to do so. Their thighs are still brushed up against each other as Louis keeps scrolling through the list of movies.

“What're you in the mood for?” he asks, opening up the information on  _ The 40 Year Old Virgin.  _ “Bit of Steve Carell?”

Niall wrinkles his nose. It's not that he hates that movie. It's just that it's gonna be painfully awkward sitting here and watching it with Louis. This guy that he's probably going to have to shag later on in the evening.

“Uh,” he says, shuffling around on the couch. No use, even with his side pressed up against the arm his leg is still brushing up against Louis's. “Not really a Steve Carell fan. How about  _ Stepbrothers _ ?” he's seen that movie a million times, but at least i ts familiarity will be co mforting.

Louis nods, clicking around until he finds that movie and selecting it. Once it starts, he tosses the remote onto the table and cuddles up beside Niall. When he rests his head on Niall's shoulder, Niall stiffens.

He shouldn't be this uncomfortable. He really shouldn't be. He likes Louis well enough. And he spent enough of the week and boring days at work daydreaming about their kiss. But this is still too unfamiliar for him. He's never had someone new up in his space like this before. This space that was never meant to be for him and anyone other than Harry.

Louis giggles against him at the opening of the movie and Niall relaxes slightly. He laughs too – at least watching this movie is easy for him. He probably knows it by heart, knows all the right places to laugh and smile at. With Louis laughing easily next to him, it's easy for him to let his guard down a bit and sling his arm around him, pulling him closer.

He just meant for them to get a bit more comfortable on the small couch, really. But Louis turns his head and locks his eyes with Niall's. The relaxation Niall felt seconds ago is gone – replaced with nerves and anticipation that Louis is about to kiss him again.

He swallows. He wants to kiss Louis. He does. But that doesn't stop him from being anxious about it. About where it might lead because they're in his flat alone instead of standing on the street outside of a busy pub like last time.

He's got no time to think about it because the movie's forgotten about as Louis shuffles upwards and tentatively presses his lips against Niall's. Niall parts his mouth, letting Louis's move against his own slowly. His heart slams inside of his chest as Louis keeps kissing him softly, letting his tongue drag over to the corner of Niall's mouth.

This isn't the most comfortable position, but they stay sitting next to each other for a few minutes, kissing slowly. It's almost painfully slowly, but Niall's not about to move. Because if he does, he's worried about what might happen next. That Louis might suggest they go into his bedroom and Niall doesn't know what he'll do if he asks that.

Louis pulls away from him when Niall draws in a sharp breath. “You alright?” he whispers, their faces still close together.

This is it. This is Niall's chance to tell Louis he doesn't want to do this and that they should just watch the movie. But Louis's breath is hot against him and it's making him dizzy. He hasn't done this in so long and maybe he just needs to push past all of his worries and insecurities and get it over with.

He was so comfortable with Harry. It was so easy and so natural and now he's having to feel his way around someone new all over again.

Louis's clear brown eyes stare at him. Niall's prick throbs against the strain of his jeans.

“Yeah,” Niall whispers. He can do this. He shuffles on the couch, turning and stretching out his legs on either side of Louis before pulling him down on top of him.

Louis smirks, leaning down and kissing Niall again. The couch is too small for the two of them to be stretched out on, but that doesn't stop them from trying. The wooden arm is digging against Niall's back, but he's more focused on the feeling of Louis's hard cock pressing against his hip.

A moan escapes from his lips. He can't help it. It's been ages since he's done this alone, let alone with anyone else. Not since Harry fucked him the night before he left for good.

Louis still has that smirk stuck on his face. Niall's body's on fire, he's aching for Louis to roll his hips against his own. For him to start grinding against him and start relieving some of the tension that's building in his belly. Louis keeps kissing him slowly. He presses a trail of kisses onto Niall's mouth and along the side of his jaw. He tucks his face into the crick of Niall's neck and touches his skin with his tongue before sucking lightly right behind his earlobe.

Niall squeezes his eyes shut and grips at the fabric of Louis's jumper. He shuffles his leg a bit as if to give Louis a hint to start fucking moving against him already. Because for whatever reason he's going to go along with this, but he can't let himself take control.

Louis pulls away from him slowly and looks at Niall. He's breathing heavily and grinning. His dark hair's a mess – the brown curtains of it falling into his face and brushing against his eyelids. He just smirks again before leaning back down and kissing Niall's neck again. Like he knows he's found Niall's kryptonite. He slinks his arm down underneath Niall, pressing his hand to the small of his back and slowly rolls his hips against Niall's.

Niall tosses his head back and lets out a noise that he can't help. Louis keeps moving slowly against him, holding him tighter and kissing him all the while. Niall meets Louis's movements, pulling his hips upwards as Louis pushes against him. His breaths are shallow and rigid, hitching in his throat with every thrust. Pleasure coils up in his stomach and if they don't cool this off soon he's going to –

There's a harsh knock at the door.

Louis abruptly stops – propping himself up overtop of Niall and glancing over at the door. The two of them lock eyes, both thinking the same thing.  _ Is that going to happen again? If it doesn't, can we keep going? _

There's another knock.

“Pizza,” Niall says, forcing the word out of his winded lungs. “Shit.”

Louis just laughs and climbs off of Niall, plopping himself down on the other side of the couch. Niall takes a deep breath and shakes his head. He tries to cool off for just a second before going to answer the door.

“You want...?” Louis starts, fumbling around in his pockets for his wallet.

“Don't worry about it,” Niall says, finally standing up. His skin's still hot and his heart's still beating swiftly in his chest, but he gets up anyway. He adjusts his jeans slightly, hoping the pizza guy won't catch on to what's he's walked in on.

If he does, he doesn't say anything. He just stands there looking bored as he takes Niall's money and hands him a couple of boxes. Niall takes them, shutting the door and walking into the kitchenette. Louis walks over to meet him.

Niall's mind races. “Um...” he starts, not really sure what to say. Should he leave the pizza and continue making out with Louis? Should he leave it and accept that they're going to do it and just drag Louis into his bedroom so he doesn't have to worry about breaking his shitty IKEA sofa?

Louis just laughs softly. He kisses Niall's cheek like this is easy for him. “Let's eat, yeah?”

Niall breathes a bit of a sigh of relief. He's so uncomfortable, but Louis just moves through the awkwardness effortlessly. He acts like it's not even there. Maybe for him it isn't. “Sure,” he says, reaching into the cupboard and pulling out a couple of plates. He hands one to Louis before moving over to his cutlery drawer.

“Uh,” Louis laughs, looking at the cutlery in Niall's hands. “What're you doing?”

Niall glances over at the pizza boxes. “Pizza,” he explains, furrowing his eyebrows. Shouldn't it be obvious?

“Oh, Niall,” Louis says with a laugh, touching Niall's hand softly. “No.” He opens the box and puts a couple slices on his plate. He laughs again, patting Niall on the chest before walking back over to the couch and sitting down.

Niall just shakes his head. He puts Louis's set of cutlery back but keeps his own. He also pulls two napkins out of the drawer and hands one to Louis when he sits back down. “At least use that,” he says with a grin.

Louis laughs and takes it from him.

Niall sets his plate down on the table and then slides down onto the floor. Because his table is so low and it's just easier to eat like this. He's always done it – doesn't like being hunched over while he eats.

“Uh,” he hears Louis laugh from behind him. “What're you doing?”

Niall looks back and then he realises what it must look like. That Louis must've freaked him out with their makeout session before and now he'd rather sit on the floor than on the couch with him for fear of that happening again.

Or not. Because Louis is just grinning like he's about to start laughing. Maybe he's not worried about every little detail like Niall always is. Like he's convinced the rest of the world is.

“It's just easier this way,” Niall explains, motioning to his food.

“Or you could just eat pizza with your hands like the rest of us.”

Niall just shrugs. Yeah, he's a bit neurotic about some things. He's made peace with that long ago. “I'm fine.” He pauses, then looks back at Louis. “Don't get crumbs all over my sofa.”

Louis laughs again. For a second Niall worries that he thinks he's crazy. That he can't handle all his weird little quirks. The same quirks that Harry always got annoyed with him for.

Instead, Louis sets his plate down on the table and slides off the couch, joining Niall on the floor. He smiles, pressing a soft kiss on Niall's cheek before turning back to the telly.

Niall can't help the way his heart flutters.

* * *

The movie ends and Louis doesn't waste any time in flipping to an episode of  _ The Office  _ that he insists Niall's got to watch. “Even though you don't like Steve Carell,” he chides, cocking his head to the side when he presses play.

It's not terrible, but Niall's more focused on the way Louis's head's resting against his shoulder again. Sometime during the movie, they'd made the move back up to the sofa. Niall worried that something was going to happen again – and maybe he hoped for it? But he didn't make a move and neither did Louis.

When the evening draws to a close, Louis stands up. “Well, I guess I'll be off then.”

Niall swallows. Is he supposed to be inviting Louis to spend the night? He's such shit at this kind of etiquette. “Okay,” he says cautiously, standing up to walk Louis over to the door.

“This was lovely,” Louis says, pulling on his coat.

Niall nods. His chest feels tight and he taps his foot on the floor. Louis must be waiting for him to ask him to stay, right? “I...uh...” he says softly, trailing off. He just goes for it, leaning in and kissing Louis square on the mouth. He pulls him in closer, letting his hands find their way up to his long hair.

“Mmph,” Louis groans, before pulling away from Niall. “Let's... let's not rush this, okay?”

It's like a weight is lifted off Niall's shoulders. So he won't have to go through this after all. “Okay,” he says with a smile that he can't help. He's not disappointed. Not in the least.

Louis smiles softly as well, touching Niall's cheek and the short sides of his hair. “See you next Friday, then? Hopefully there's no shit band this time.”

Niall laughs. “Yeah. 'Course.”

Louis nods before turning to leave. “Goodnight, Niall.”

“Night,” Niall says softly, nodding at him before Louis starts to walk down the hall. He closes the door and sighs to himself. That went well. Better than he could have imagined, actually. He makes his way back into his sitting room, picking up their plates and rinsing them off before placing them into his dishwasher. He places the remains of the pizza into his fridge before turning off the lights and heading into the loo.

As he starts to get ready for bed he replays the evening back in his head. Starting with the way Louis's hand felt holding his up to the way his dick felt pressing against his own.

He pulls his clothes off – all but his boxers because it's strangely warm in here tonight. He pulls the covers over himself and closes his eyes as as lays down on his stomach.

All he can see in his mind's eye is Louis. His sparkling brown eyes looking at him as they kissed. His soft breaths against his skin. His soft t-shirt crinkled in between the two of them.

Shit. He's hard again.

Niall sighs, trying to adjust himself and get more comfortable. He keeps his eyes firmly closed and just tries to fall asleep.

The memory of Louis sucking on his neck finds its way back into his brain. There's a pang in Niall's chest. He gulps and rolls his hips into his mattress, trying to relieve some of the tension. It doesn't help – it only makes the problem worse.

He groans. It's been a long time since he's done this. So long that he's almost forgotten how. He grinds into his hard mattress, keeping his eyes closed and trying to maintain the idea that he's not actually doing this. He's not fucking getting himself off because of a few snogs with a guy he barely knows.

He ruts his hips down harder, his mouth hanging open as heat builds in his torso. He presses down harder, but it doesn't work. Now he's just frustrated, cock aching and leaking inside of his boxes.

He sighs, rolling over onto his back and pushing his duvet off of himself. He pulls his boxers off before he can think too hard about it. He reaches over and grips his dick, wrapping his fingers around it and pumping slowly. “Ugh,” he groans out to no one but himself. He lifts his hips off of the bed, thrusting into his own touch.

He presses his other hand to his hip, pushing down on it as if to simulate the weight of someone else on top of him. He pumps his hand faster, dragging his thumb over the tip and using the pre-come to lubricate his hand. There's not much of it, but it'll do. He sighs, squeezing harder and knitting his eyes shut. His chest heaves as he breathes out, his orgasm coiling in his belly.

“Fuck,” he moans lowly. Maybe he's being too loud. Maybe the people in the flat next to his can hear him. He gulps, trying to push that worry out of his mind. He keeps stroking himself, pressing his bum down into the mattress. He imagines Louis filling him up, moaning as he slides inside of him. The dark curtains of his hair wet with sweat as he thrusts over top of him.

Niall's mouth hangs open as anticipation melts into his release. “Oh,” he moans out. “Oh...” he comes in long spurts, making a mess over his stomach. He lays there for a few seconds afterwards, his forehead damp and his chest heaving.

He swallows hard, reaching over and pulling some tissues off of his nightstand and cleaning himself off. He sighs, placing the used tissues back on the table. He'll clean those up tomorrow. For now, he pulls his blankets back over himself and closes his eyes. He's asleep within seconds.

Harry's letter sits on the nightstand in its usual place, forgotten.

* * *

“So,” Liam pries, leaning into the table as the waitress walks away. “How's it going with Louis?”

Niall rolls his eyes. The next evening, he's sitting in a tapas joint with Liam and Sophia. It's Sophia's choice, because as she so eloquently put it, “If I've got to spend the evening with two boys, I'll be choosing the restaurant.”

Niall doesn't mind. He likes the seafood paella well enough. He briefly wonders if Louis would too, or if it'd be too out there for him.

“Fine,” Niall says, shrugging him off. He doesn't really want to talk about this with Liam. The relationship (if that's what it is) is still too fresh. Too new to be assessed.

But shit, Niall's been thinking about Louis all day. Not that he needs to tell Liam that.

“But you've seen him a few times?” Liam asks, even though it's obvious he knows the answer. Because he's probably prodded for information from Louis too. And Louis, Niall figures, would be much easier to get details out of.

He glances over at Sophia for help, angling his eyebrows into a defenceless puppy-dog look. Sophia just laughs and pats Liam on the shoulder. Niall likes her. He's always liked her, ever since Liam started dating her in their last year of Uni. She fit into their little group of four well.

Even though their little group of four didn't last much longer after that. Harry was gone, but at least Niall won Liam and Sophia in the break-up. Even though that was probably just a matter of convenience. He's still in London, Harry's on the other side of the world.

No, he reminds himself. He knew Liam well before either of them knew Harry. Before he ran into Harry at a party and they hit it off.

“Leave him be,” Sophia says, a soft smile on her face.

“Yeah, Liam,” Niall says, sticking his tongue out and taking a sip of his pint. “Leave him be.”

Liam rolls his eyes. “I'll take that as a 'it's going well,' then.”

Niall shrugs. Yeah, he supposes it is. But it's still delicate – he thinks so anyway. Trying to navigate an adult relationship is so complicated. And he never anticipated he'd have to do this. “I suppose so, yeah.” He pauses, licking his lips before he goes on. Because this is just going to open more questions, he's sure of it. “So... are you going down to Bracknell next weekend?”

“Why?” Liam asks with a smirk. “What's in Bracknell?”

Niall rolls his eyes. Now Liam's just being difficult. “Louis's show.”

Liam laughs. “Yeah, he mentioned something about that. I told him we'd go,” he glances over at Sophia, and she just nods in agreement. “Why? Are you going?”

Niall shuffles uncomfortably. “Yeh.”

“I guess we'll all take the train down together, then,” he says with a shrug, taking a sip of his Coke. “I hope you're not expecting greatness, there's a reason they're playing a shit pub in Bracknell.” Sophia smacks him in the chest. “What? It's true!”

Niall laughs. He's not expecting musical genius. Not in the least. But it'll be cool to see Louis's band play all the same. To see him up on the stage singing along to what Niall assumes are some of his favourite songs. “It'll be fun, at least.”

Liam nods. “With Louis around, it's never boring.”

Well, Niall can't exactly argue with that.

* * *

Niall made a point of trying to get to the pub later than he usually does. Even though their usual meeting time is 7:00, he always gets there early. Which is futile because Louis always gets there late.

So he gets there at 6:55 instead of his usual 6:50. It doesn't matter – Louis still isn't there. But at least there's no cover charge or shit band this time. He sips at his pint as he glances around and waits for him. Maybe it wouldn't have been so bad if there was a band and they had to go back to his flat.

He shifts uncomfortably, trying to push the thoughts of kissing Louis and touching himself out of his mind. Another sip of his Boddy's will solve that.

“Hey,” Louis says when he arrives, setting his own pint down on the table and sitting down across from Niall. “Hope you weren't waiting too long.”

Niall shakes his head. Even if he had been waiting long, he'd never tell Louis that. Besides, it's not Louis's fault that Niall's always compulsively early.

“Good week?” he asks, taking a long swig of what Niall can only assume is Louis's beloved Old Tripp.

Niall shrugs. “Not bad.” Truthfully, he hadn't done much that week. Gone out with Liam and Sophia on the weekend. Went to work like every other day. Cut up some Christmas adverts for the radio. Ate his Gregg's sandwiches every evening except on Wednesday when he attempted some coffee-rubbed steak recipe.

He also went over to Louis's chippy on two separate occasions at lunch time. But after standing outside debating going in for five minutes he decided it'd be too awkward.

He just decides to elaborate on the work thing. “Been workin' on some adverts for the holidays. Definitely sick of Christmas music already,” he laughs.

Louis shakes his head. “I don't know why they start this early. Christmas is only... well, I guess it's a month away.”

“Yeah, but still. If I hear the chorus of Jingle Bells ever again in my life, it'll be too soon.” Niall rolls his eyes, but then grins.

Louis nods. “At least you won't have to hear it tomorrow, right?” he asks tentatively. “No Christmas Carols at my show.”

Niall nods. “Right.” His stomach twists up. He almost forgot about that. Not about the show but about all the logistics behind it. How they're going to get to Bracknell, when they're all going to meet and how they're going to get back afterwards.

Louis leans back in his chair. Luckily it seems he's got Niall's back. “So the show's at ten, but I figure we'll take the train in around five, cause we've gotta get set up and shit. Liam and Soph are coming too, they're meeting me at Waterloo at half four. Does that work for you?”

“Yeah,” Niall says, trying not to look too eager. “That's cool.”

“And uh...” Louis shuffles a bit and licks his lips. “I dunno if you wanna come back after the show, but it'll be late. There's a hotel near there if you'd rather stay...” He covers his face with his hand and gives Niall a tentative look.

Niall swallows. “Uh...” he doesn't really mind getting back late. In fact, he'd sort of planned on it. It's not like he's got anything to do on Sunday.

“Liam and Sophia got a room. They're making a romantic getaway out of it, apparently.” Louis widens his eyes and laughs a little bit.

Niall snorts. “In Bracknell?”

“Yup.”

Niall shakes his head. He's only been over to Bracknell once, but it's not exactly at the top of his list of romantic places. Still, he supposes he might as well stay. If everyone else is staying. Then he doesn't have to worry about catching the train back before the tube stops running. “I suppose it makes sense.”

“Yeah, I thought so too! I've got a room already, if you wanna...”

Niall's stomach twists up again. As many times as he imagined Louis in his bed over the course of the past week, the prospect of them sharing one the following night still worries him. This was all so much easier with Harry when he just broke the seal when he was drunk and they didn't have to worry about tiptoeing around each other.

“You don't have to,” Louis quickly says. “You can get your own room, I just thought... we don't have to  _ do  _ anything...”

Niall shakes his head. “Yeh, yeh that's fine. We can share a room.”

Louis reaches over and grips Niall's hand. He rubs at it gently with his thumb and smiles softly at him. Niall's insides melt and he can't help but smile back.

* * *

Niall stuffs his hands in his pockets as he walks through the busy station of London Waterloo. He's got his old University rucksack slung over his shoulder filled with a couple things for the night. He glances down at his phone. It's exactly half four and he picks up the pace a little bit.

When he notices Liam and Sophia standing near the Costa they agreed to meet at, he breathes a sigh of relief. Because of course getting there right on time means that he's not the last to show up.

“Afternoon,” he says, stuffing his phone back into his pocket.

“Hey,” Sophia says with a smile. “You're late.”

“Am not,” he protests.

“Well, for you you are.” Liam winks, looking up at the clock.

Niall rolls his eyes and shuffles on his feet. He walks into the Costa for a coffee, figuring they've got time. When he walks back out, Louis has joined Liam and Sophia. He's got a gym bag hanging over one shoulder and a guitar strapped to his back. He leans over and gives Niall a quick peck on the mouth before grinning and lacing their fingers together.

“Shall we?” Louis asks, nodding at the group. The four of them walk towards the train platform.

“Thought you didn't play the guitar?” Liam asks, glancing back at Louis and motioning towards the instrument he's got.

Louis makes a dramatic show of rolling his eyes. “I don't,” he says pointedly. “But there wasn't room in the car, apparently. So I've got to bring it.”

“Wait,” Liam cuts in, glancing back at Louis again. “You're taking the train with us, but the rest of the band is taking a car. Aren't you the frontman?” he giggles. “Isn't it supposed to be the other way around?”

“Shut up, Liam,” Louis says. “Maybe I wanted to spend the afternoon with my mates who so graciously decided to come all the way to Bracknell to see me play,” he glances over at Niall and shakes his head dramatically. “Sophia, I'm sorry you've got to put up with this imbecile.”

Sophia just laughs and gives Liam a kiss on the cheek as they step up to the platform. “He's cute, so I'll let it slide.”

Niall can't help but laugh as Liam makes a show of looking irritated. “Wait...” he says slowly, glancing in between Liam and Louis just as the train pulls up beside them. “How do the two of you know each other again?”

“That,” Louis says, wagging his finger and looking over at Liam, “Is a great story. But I'll wait to tell it until we're sitting down on the train.” He grabs at Niall's hand again as they get into the queue to board.

True to his word, Louis starts talking the moment the four of them sit down. They're sitting in a pod of four seats facing each other, which is perfect for a trip such as this.

“So, we actually met at an Ed Sheeran concert in London in... I want to say, 2014, but keep me honest here, Liam.” Louis places a finger over his lips as if he's thinking.

“Yeah, I think that's about right,” Liam says, draping his arm around Sophia.

“He was standing in line for a beer and Liam, the generous lad that he is bought me one as well,” Louis says, leaning his head on Niall's shoulder and grinning up at Liam.

Liam rolls his eyes. “Not really. He was digging through his pockets for change and I was standing behind him and just paid because I didn't want to wait.”

“Generous lad,” Louis says again, glancing up at Niall and nodding. Niall just chuckles.

“And then,” Liam continues, looking square at Louis. “He followed me into the pit and stood with me the whole time.”

Louis shrugs. “Saved your place when you went to get more beer.”

“When I went to get  _ us _ more beer,” Liam's quick to retort.

Louis just laughs and Niall sighs happily. One of the things he's growing to like the most about Louis is his laugh. How loud it is when he's amused, and how quiet it is when he's content and happy. “Right, but come on, Liam. Who comes to a concert alone anyway? You needed me.”

“You came to the concert alone,” Liam says.

“Yeah but like,” Louis turns to grin at Niall again before continuing with whatever excuse he's going to drum up that makes this okay for him and not okay for Liam. “When I go alone I'm like, not really alone. It's just me and the artist and the music that connects us both.”

Niall smiles up at Louis. He's never really thought that way about going to a show by himself before.

“That's a load of crap,” Liam says, cutting into their tender moment. And Niall can't help but laugh.

* * *

After checking into the hotel, the four of them walked the few minutes over to the pub. Once they order their food, Niall sits down with a pint – Abbot's, to be specific. The house brew of this pub, apparently. He takes a large sip to try and quell his worries about the room. He doesn't even know what he's so stressed out about. There's two beds in it. Louis placed his things on one and Niall the other. It's not like he has to share with Louis or like they have to do anything.

He swallows thickly. He sort of wants to share with Louis but he doesn't even know how to approach that. Louis was the one who suggested they take things slow before. So maybe there's no chance of anything happening later anyway. He takes another sip of his pint and half-listens to whatever conversation Liam and Sophia are having.

“Lads,” Louis says, cutting into Niall's thoughts. He's standing there with a couple other guys who Niall assumes are members of his band. “You know Liam,” he says, looking back at them and motioning towards Liam. “This is Sophia, his girlfriend. And this is Niall,” he says. “This is Oli, our lead guitarist and Calvin, our drummer.”

Niall nods at them and they reach over and shake hands. “Niall,” Oli says with a smile, glancing back at Louis. “Must be the new boy.”

Louis dramatically rolls his eyes. “Yeah, yeah, alright.” He sits down with them, plopping down into a chair beside Niall. Oli pulls up a chair as well, but Calvin chooses to go back to the small stage area where they're setting up.

Louis places a soft hand on Niall's thigh and Niall sighs. This shouldn't be so awkward. He's able to meet new people just fine. It's just that he hasn't had to for a really long time. Not in the context of being a “new boy” or whatever he is, anyway. Not since he had to meet Harry's friends. Which were just people at Uni who Niall probably would have met anyway.

But it's fine. Oli's nice enough. He asks Niall all the standard questions that he usually gets. Where's he from – because his accent is a dead giveaway. And what made him move to the UK anyway? And why'd he decide to stay after Uni was over?

It's not until their food comes and they're well into their meal that anything weird happens.

“So how'd you two meet?” Oli asks, raising his eyebrow at Niall.

“I already told you,” Louis hisses, chewing off a bite of one of his chips. “Liam set us up.”

Niall nods. “Yeah. Pretty much that.”

Oli hums and takes a thoughtful sip of his beer. “Couldn't take much more of him being single, could you?” he laughs, swatting Liam in the chest. “I don't blame you. You've got your work cut out for you,” he says, turning to Niall.

Louis dramatically rolls his eyes. “Enough.”

Niall sort of wants to ask what that means. How long Louis has been single and what he's like when he's constantly pestering his friends. But he holds off. This is already such an uncomfortable situation for him and he doesn't want to make anything worse. “So what're you boys playing tonight?”

Louis grins at Niall and rolls his head back and forth. “You'll have to wait and see,” he says with a wink. “I can't giveaway all of our secrets.”

“It'll be some combination of  _ Basket Case, Time of Your Life, American Idiot _ and  _ Twenty One Guns _ ,” Liam says without missing a beat. “Oh, and  _ Boulevard of Broken Dreams _ ,” he adds, making sure to emphasize the “Broken.”

“Liam!” Louis turns and gives him an annoyed look.

“It's  _ Good Riddance _ ,” Niall says, taking a sip of his beer. At least this, he knows. He knows it because of Harry, but still he knows it.

“Right,” Louis says, turning and smiling softly at Niall. “Exactly.” His expression stiffens when he looks at Liam. “He knows his shit.”

Niall gives Liam a smug look, proud of himself for knowing a bit of music trivia. Liam just rolls his eyes and goes back to his food.

And that's that.

* * *

A couple of hours and a few more rounds of pints later, and Louis is up on stage with the rest of his band. Niall, Liam and Sophia have switched tables, opting for one closer to where they're playing so they've got a better view.

Niall looks around. You'd never know there was a band in here tonight. The rest of the pub seems undisturbed by the band setting up and the static chords of the quick soundcheck before their set.

Niall glances up and catches Louis's eye just before they start to play. He smiles softly and nods his head and Louis smiles back at him before looking out into the crowd. The crowd that's not paying him any attention.

Calvin hits the drums and the band launches into their rendition of  _ Basket Case _ . Niall's got to admit, Louis sounds pretty good. He doesn't think that having five people in the band really adds anything to the songs like Louis insisted it did, but they sound good all the same. Louis's high voice compliments the songs well, and he breezes through them easily.

There's a bit of scattered applause at the end of each song, but nothing more than a fleeting moment before they go into the next one. They don't really address the crowd either – not like they would. Niall's beginning to realise they're really just background noise rather than playing an actual gig.

“Bracknell, we're going to slow it down a bit for you,” Louis finally says after they've played a fair sampling of Green Day's greatest hits.

Liam lets out slightly drunken “Woo!” and Niall can't help but laugh. The three of them really are the only ones in here tonight that came to see the band.

The familiar opening notes of  _ Good Riddance _ start and Niall takes a thoughtful sip of his pint. He's not sure how many he's had, but it's definitely a lot more than he usually drinks on his Friday night dates with Louis. If he had to guess he'd say it was his seventh or eighth. He's not sure. Sophia just keeps bringing them to him.

“Another turning point a fork stuck in the road, time grabs you by the wrist directs you where to go...” Louis's voice sticks to the lyrics, his raspy voice clinging to every note.

Niall stares down into his half-finished pint as he listens. Shit, this song is on his Harry is Gone Playlist of Pain too. He should have fucking realised that it'd hit him, but for whatever reason, he didn't. Not until the song is staring him in his drunken face.

He glances up at Louis. His dark curtain hair brushes the tops of his eyes, glistening underneath the dim pub lights. He's great, he really is. He's funny and he's got a bit of a sass to him but he's kind and sweet...

“It's not a bit a lesson learned in time...” Louis continues to sing.

Niall gulps, forcing down a lump in his throat. Tears creep up into his eyes and he has to look down to make sure nobody sees. He shouldn't be like this. He's had a good day – a great day even. Hanging out with his mates and hanging out with Louis and cuddling with him on the train and admiring his soft singing voice.

But the song tugs at his heart, reminding him every day that Harry's not here. That Harry's the reason he's got to figure his way around having a new boyfriend all over again. If that's even what Louis is. Niall doesn't know. They haven't really talked about it.

It should be so easy. He should have just gotten over Harry and then started to date someone new. Instead it's all running together. He quickly looks up at Louis again and he sighs a bit of relief when he sees that Louis is singing the song with his eyes closed – not looking over at him. Not noticing that Niall's one pint away from having a mental breakdown not ten feet from him.

He takes another sip of his beer, tipping it back and downing the last dregs of it. The empty glass is still cool in his hands. He takes a deep breath. It's fine. Harry left him and he didn't want this and as much as Niall remembers everything that was good about their relationship and how easy it was, he has to force himself to remember that it wasn't perfect. It couldn't have been. Not if Harry left.

He feels Sophia's hand touch his shoulder. “You want another?” she whispers, and Niall glances over at her. She just blinks, waiting for his answer. That makes Niall feel a little better. Because at least outwardly he doesn't look like a mess. It's dark in the pub, and she can't see that he's on the verge of tears.

“Yeh,” he says softly. “Sure.”

She nods, standing up and walking off to the bar. Niall sighs. The song ends and fades away, but not before Louis addresses the pub again.

“We just want to thank you all for coming out tonight. This'll be our last song,” he says softly. Oli starts to play the opening chords of  _ Boulevard of Broken Dreams _ and Louis takes that opportunity to look down at Niall and smile.

Niall takes a deep breath and feels a little better.

* * *

Niall and Louis stumble back into their hotel room a couple of hours later. A couple more hours in the pub and a couple more rounds of pints after the gig and Niall's head is spinning. He's so fucking drunk that he's got to hold onto Louis to keep from falling over. Not that it does much good, since Louis is barely keeping it together as well.

Niall flops down on his bed while Louis walks off into the bathroom. Louis slams the door and Niall puts his hands over his face, trying to sober up a little bit. It doesn't work. Somewhere in the back of his alcohol clouded mind he's worried about what's going to happen next. But it's buried so far back that it's barely there. So instead he just hums –  _ When I Come Around  _ has been stuck in his head all evening. Ever since Louis belted it out three songs into his set.

He barely even notices Louis coming out of the bathroom, he's so laser focused on singing softly and staring at the ceiling.

“What're you singing then?” Louis asks him with a laugh, pulling his shirt off.

“Uhhh...” Niall hums, distracted by the sight of Louis's bare chest. It's got a couple of tattoos that Niall never noticed before. How could he have? He's never seen him shirtless before. He doesn't even know if Louis realises what he's doing.

Louis laughs and climbs on top of him. He leans down, planting messy kisses on Niall's mouth. Whatever Niall was thinking about or singing before, he's forgotten. He kisses Louis back, their mouths smacking against each other, not wasting any time in letting his tongue explore Louis's mouth.

They kiss for a few minutes, awkwardly laying on the edge of the bed. Louis rolls off of Niall and less than gracefully ends up on the floor. “Oops!” he laughs, reaching up and placing his hand on the bed.

Niall just bursts out laughing. He doesn't even think about it as he pulls his own shirt over his head and tosses it on the floor. He undoes his jeans and pulls those off too. If he was more sober he'd be doing this under the guise that he was just getting ready to go to sleep soon. But his drunken mind doesn't need any convincing.

“Good idea,” Louis mutters, pulling off his own jeans and letting them fall to a lump on the floor. “I'm so tired,” he says with a sly grin as he climbs underneath the covers.

“So tired,” Niall repeats as he joins Louis in bed, the second bed in the room still tightly made and forgotten about. “Been such a long day,” he mumbles right before they start kissing again.

“Mmph, Niall...” Louis shuffles on top of him again, kissing him roughly and digging his fingers into Niall's sides.

Niall moans into their kisses. He's painfully hard already and he can feel Louis's cock through the thin fabric of his boxers. He lifts his hips upwards, rolling them against Louis. Louis thrusts back, his dick pressed against Niall's hipbone. They move against each other, the cheap hotel bed creaking underneath them. If there are people in the next room over, they can probably hear the two of them. Niall doesn't care – hell, the thought hardly even crosses his mind.

“You're so fucking fit,” Louis says, pulling away slightly and hovering over Niall. He looks him over, eyes wandering over his chest and down his waist over to his boxers. His thin white Calvin's that Niall knows are doing little to hide the outline of his arousal.

He runs his hand down Niall's skin, and Niall draws in a sharp breath as Louis touches him. His fingers gingerly make their way over his chest, down his side and stop at the waistband of his boxers. “I,” Louis starts, faltering only slightly. “Um...”

Niall gulps. “It's okay,” he says softly, his voice shaking a bit. He starts to sober up as he realises that soon, Harry's not going to be the last person who touched his dick. But he quickly pushes the thought out of his mind.

Louis nods, pulling Niall's underwear down. He pops it off over Niall's cock and slides it down over his knees and feet before tossing them onto the floor.

Louis doesn't say anything. He draws in a breath and lays back down beside Niall. He lines up his chest along Niall's back and kisses the top of his shoulder before reaching around and wrapping his fingers around Niall's dick.

Niall bites down on his bottom lip, thankful Louis can't see the look on his face. Louis moves his hand slowly, sliding it up and down Niall's length. He doesn't twist or squeeze, just takes his time with it. Niall can feel his arousal building, the pre-come leaking out of the tip and Louis's hot breath on the back of his neck. He's sure he's a sight – his eyebrows knitted and his mouth hanging open.

He swallows and breathes hard, trying not to make any noise. Louis's hand is too gentle, too even. It's not like Harry, who know what he liked and could get him off in what seemed like seconds. Niall draws in a deep breath and curses himself for letting Harry slip into his mind. He pulls his hips back and lets himself feel Louis's erection against his bum.

That helps. Niall imagines Louis sliding into him. The ridges of his cock slick against his walls. “Lou,” Niall whispers softly. Louis responds by nipping at the back of his neck and moving his hand faster. The press of their bodies together and the soft scent of Louis behind him sends him over the edge. “Oh,” Niall can't help but moan out as a ball of pleasure coils into his dick. “'M gonna come,” he gasps, “Louis I'm gonna come-”

Niall rolls onto his back without a second thought, his cock aching for release. Louis shuffles over, grabbing Niall again and pumping him fast. Niall groans, arching his hips upwards and crying out. “Fuck.” He spills into Louis's hand, dripping onto his stomach.

His eyes flutter open as he looks up at Louis. He's grinning, wiping off his hand with a tissue and looking at Niall with soft eyes.

“Niall,” Louis says softly, leaning down and kissing his sweaty forehead. “You're so fucking hot.”

“Mmm...” Niall shuffles upwards and kisses Louis on the mouth. He reaches downwards and brushes his hand over Louis's boxers, eager to return the favour.

“Niall...” Louis whispers softly, gently pushing Niall's hand away.

Niall doesn't get the hint. He kisses Louis's neck and grips his hand on Louis's hip. “Let me,” he says softly. “Let me make ya feel good...”

But Louis doesn't let up. He kisses Niall on the mouth and pulls away. “Let's just... let's just leave it at this for tonight, alright?”

Niall blinks a couple times. He's confused, because didn't Louis initiate this in the first place? He doesn't press it though. Whatever the reason, Louis obviously wants to take things slow. Even if that leaves him frustrated.

“Okay,” Niall whispers softly, kissing Louis on the cheek before rolling over to fetch his boxers from the floor. He pulls them back on and climbs underneath the covers with Louis. “I had fun tonight,” he says softly.

“Me too,” Louis replies before he slings his arm over Niall and the two of them drift off to sleep.

* * *

Niall's eyes flutter open the next morning. Louis is sleeping soundly beside him, his back turned towards Niall. Niall swallows, his mouth is dry and his head hurts a little. Chalk that up to the pints the night before.

Careful not to wake Louis up, he gently pulls the covers off himself and stumbles over to the bathroom. He leans his arm against the wall as he relieves himself, thinking back to the night before. He thought everything was fine – great even. Then Louis pushed him away and insisted they go back to sleep.

He washes his hands and splashes some cool water on his face. He's probably making an issue out of nothing. Louis was probably just tired. He steps out of the bathroom to find Louis laying in bed on his side, eyes half open.

“Morning,” he says softly, looking up at Niall.

Niall sighs happily. “Morning.” He crawls back onto the bed, hovering overtop of Louis. “I had fun last night,” he whispers, kissing Louis on the forehead.

“Me too,” Louis says, lips curling up into a tired smile. He presses his hand to Niall's chest. “We should probably be heading back though.”

Niall glances over at the clock. Shit – it's already nearly noon. They've got to check out in half an hour and get over to the train station. “Guess so.” He leans down and presses a kiss to Louis's cheek before rolling off the bed. “You guys were good, by the way,” he says, digging through his bag to find some things so he can have a quick shower. He looks over at Louis and winks. “I'd come see your band again.”

Louis stretches his arms out and laughs. “Yeah, you better.”

Niall just laughs.

* * *

Niall taps his foot nervously as he sits in the pub the following Friday. It's become routine at this point, that he and Louis will meet at the Brown Cow for drinks and whatever else.

He glances around – the pub's certainly embraced the fact that it's December 1 st . There are lights strung about and a few boughs of holly along the back wall behind the bar. They're also advertising some sort of Festive Mule cocktail that Niall wrinkled his nose at. Instead he's gone with his standard Boddy's – much easier to go down than Guinness.

He takes another thoughtful sip of his beer. After mulling it over for a week he's decided that after they have drinks he's going to invite Louis back to his flat. It's not like Louis hasn't been there before, after all. They spent the night together in Bracknell and it was fine. And after replaying Louis's hand around his cock every single night for the past six nights he's figured that it's time to just push through and do it.

So he made sure to wash his sheets and tidy up his place and embarrassingly buy a new box of condoms as a part of his weekly trip to Tesco.

His beer's half gone before Louis shows up – and Louis isn't even that late this time. It's only 7:03.

“Evening lad,” Louis laughs, leaning over to kiss Niall on the cheek before sitting down across from him. He eyes his pint. “Been here long?”

“Uh,” Niall giggles sheepishly. “No.”

“That's the Irish in you I guess.” Louis smirks.

Niall considers making a quip about how he'd rather have some English in him, but he refrains. Fuck, he's so bad at this. He hasn't even said anything and he's nervous all over again.

But Louis is completely oblivious to the battle Niall's fighting in his mind. “They've got a holiday drink,” Louis says with a laugh.

Niall shakes his head and takes another sip of his Boddy's. “Yeah, I saw.”

“You want? By the time I get back you'll be done with that anyway.” Louis glances down at Niall's nearly-finished pint and laughs. “Plus it's December now – I propose we ring in the holiday season by getting drunk off of those awful concoctions.”

Niall can't help but laugh – he laughs so loud that he's got to cover his mouth with his arm to avoid drawing attention to himself. Louis just grins.

“I'll take that as a yes.” And he walks off.

Niall stares down into the rest of his pint and chugs it down in one go. Louis's plan isn't really a bad one. He's probably going to have to get a slight buzz on to get the courage to ask him to come back to his place anyway.

Louis returns after a few minutes, setting a brass mug down in front of Niall. He sits down in his own chair, sliding it closer to Niall so the two of them are sitting next to each other rather than across. Louis pats Niall on the thigh and smiles at him before raising his mug.

“Happy Christmas?” Louis asks with a cheeky grin.

“It's December first,” Niall laughs, but clinks his mug with Louis's all the same and takes a sip.

The drink's not actually terrible, but it's not great either. It tastes like it's made with Pimm's and Ginger Beer and a hint of some kind of cinnamon. Plus there's a couple cranberries floating in it that don't seem to be adding any flavour. Niall's never really been much for cocktails – he's always preferred beer. That, or the red wine that Harry made him drink. Not that he cared for the wine much, but he liked listening to Harry's pretentious assessments of it.

“That is truly awful,” Louis says, wrinkling his nose before taking another sip. “We'll definitely need to drink them until they taste good.”

Niall rolls his eyes but then he laughs. “Yeah, sure.”

“I ordered you food too, hope that's alright,” Louis continues, swirling the drink in his hand before taking another sip. “You usually eat here so I just thought...”

“Yeah, yeah it's fine.” Niall nods. He was planning on eating anyway.

“Great.” Louis touches Niall again. He's got his fingers on his shoulder this time, gingerly tracing them along the soft wool of his jumper. “Did you have a good week?” he asks softly.

Niall glances at him and swallows. Did he have a good week? He didn't do much – just went to work and went home and thought about Louis every waking second. “Was alright,” he says with a shrug. “Bought my plane ticket home for a couple days at Christmas.” Well, that's something at least.

Louis furrows his eyebrows. “Ah, yeah? How long are you going for?”

“Just the weekend – leavin' on the 23rd, back on the 27th. Love goin' home but after a few days at my mum's I start to get cabin fever,” he laughs.

Louis smiles and nods his head. “Yeah, I understand.”

“What about you?” Niall asks, taking another sip of his drink. He's almost finished with it at this point and he's hardly had any. That's another thing he hates about cocktails – they're mostly ice. “Goin' home to Doncaster?”

Louis nods. “Yeah, I think so. I um...” he trails off, looking down into his drink. “Shit, these are terrible aren't they?” He peers over into Niall's cup. “You want another?”

Niall laughs. “Yeah, sure.”

Louis walks off and Niall watches him go. The more he gets to know Louis, the more he's starting to realise he really doesn't know anything about him at all. Every time he thinks he's about to get some information out of him, it's like he goes into hiding and buries it under some sarcastic comment.

Not that he can really blame Louis. He's blocked off his heart too – Louis doesn't know anything about Harry and Niall doesn't intend for him to.

Louis comes back with another round of drinks – two rounds for each of them, actually, that he's balancing in his hands. He gently sets them down on the table before sitting back down beside Niall.

“You're goin' home for Christmas then?” Niall presses again because he can't help himself. “Family's all still there?”

Louis sighs, picking up one of the drinks and taking a sip. He cups his hands around it and studies Niall for a second. “Yeah,” he finally says. “My sisters are all there, and my stepdad...” he swallows thickly. “Me mum passed away last Christmas,” he finishes softly.

Shit, he shouldn't have pressed. “Sorry,” Niall says, placing his hand on Louis's shoulder. “Really-”

“It's fine.” Louis waves him off. “Really.” He gives Niall a reassuring look and nods his head. “I just haven't really told a lot of people that. I don't even think Liam knows,” he says with a bit of a chuckle. “Hey, speaking of Liam... you reckon he only set us up because we're the only two gays that he knows?”

Niall nearly chokes on his drink at Louis's comment. He giggles into his sleeve as he looks over at him. “Oh my god,” he laughs. “Knowing Liam, that's probably exactly what happened.”

Louis leans his head against Niall. “I'm glad he did,” he says softly.

A warmth fills Niall's chest, and it's got nothing to do with the three drinks he's already finished since Louis got here. “Me too.”

“Yeah so...” Louis sits back up, stretching out and grabbing another drink. “I've got five sisters and a brother up there. Lottie who's close to my age, Fizzy, Pheobe and Daisy, they're teenagers so poor Lottie's got her hands full with them and then Doris and Ernest, who live with Dan.”

“Jesus,” Niall breathes out. “There's two sets of twins in there?”

Louis laughs. “Yeah. Christmas is absolutely mad, as you can imagine. It's great though. It'll be good to see the fam. What about you? Have you got a horde of sisters as well?”

Niall shakes his head. “No sisters. Just a brother and we don't really get on very well.”

“Hmmmm...” Louis looks like he's deep in thought as he takes another sip of his drink. “Older or younger?”

“He's older, 'bout four years older. He's married and he's got a kid and he just... he doesn't love that I moved to London, doesn't love that I stayed here after Uni and doesn't love that I 'like cock,'” he finishes the last bit, making air quotes with his fingers.

Louis shakes his head. “Wanker.”

Niall shrugs. He's long since made peace with himself about Greg's attitude. He rarely, if ever, needs to see him anyway. It's only really at Christmas that he does, and he's easily avoided because there are so many other people around. “It's fine.”

“But you stay with your mum you said?”

“Yeah,” Niall says, taking another sip of his drink. He glances over at the bar, hoping their food arrives soon, because he's starting to get a bit tipsy. “She's got a pretty big house in Dublin, her husband does pretty well for himself so there's space. My dad lives in the town I grew up in, it's an hour away maybe. I usually drive over there on Boxing Day.”

“Oooh, big man with a car,” Louis giggles.

Niall rolls his eyes. “Not quite. Mum just lets me borrow her Fiat. I barely fit into it.”

Louis laughs even harder. “I'd love to see you drive a Fiat,” he leans over and starts to twirl his fingers in Niall's hair. But their tender moment is cut short when the waitress arrives with their food. As much as Niall doesn't want Louis to pull away from him, he really is quite hungry.

She sets down two plates of bangers and mash in front of them and gives them a soft smile. “Enjoy, lads.”

Louis digs into his food almost immediately, glancing over at Niall. “That's alright, then?”

Niall nods. “Yeah, totally fine.”

* * *

Niall's three sheets to the wind once the two of them decide to call it a night. He's lost count of how many of those holiday drinks he's had, but Louis was definitely right about them. After a few of them they did actually start to taste good.

He grabs Louis's hand as the two of them head out of the pub somewhere around one in the morning – it's the latest they've ever stayed there. It's brisk outside – there's a light dusting of snow that's probably going to be gone in the morning. They step a couple of paces away from the few people who are smoking outside the doors and Niall turns to face Louis. He grips his hands with his own and leans in to kiss him softly. “It's late...” he trails off, heart pounding in his chest.

“Yeah...” Louis glances around. “Suppose I'll need to get a cab.”

“You can just come back to mine,” Niall blurts out a lot less eloquently than he planned.

Louis raises his eyebrow. “You sure?”

“Yeah, 'course. I mean, we've already gone away together,” Niall laughs, trying to hide how awkward all of this is. “C'mon.” He keeps holding onto Louis's hand as they walk back to his flat. He grips it tightly as the two of them make their way back, a comfortable silence between them.

Once they get back to Niall's place, they waste no time in kicking off their shoes and tossing their coats in the closet.

Niall brings his hands up to his mouth. “Shit,” he curses softly, shivering slightly. “It's fuckin' cold out there.”

Louis steps towards him, running a hand through Niall's hair again. It's started to fall into his face at this point, the product he had in it being no match for the musky air of the pub. “I could warm you up...” he presses a kiss to Niall's lips.

Niall doesn't waste the opportunity. He melts into Louis's kiss, opening his mouth and letting Louis's tongue slip inside. He grips onto Louis's sides, pulling him closer against him as he leans back against the wall of his flat.

“Shit, Niall,” Louis breathes out, pulling away slightly.

“Let's go to my room,” Niall suggests, breathing hard. He's so turned on already, having anticipated this the entire evening. The entire week, really. Now the moment's here, and he's surprised at how easy all of it is. He thought he'd be a lot more nervous.

Louis nods, looking at Niall to lead the way.

Niall pulls him towards his bedroom, falling backwards onto his bed and letting Louis crawl on top of him. He moans at Louis's weight over him, wrapping his arms around him and kissing him again. The room is spinning, but he truly doesn't care. All he can think about is Louis, the way his stubbled jaw feels against his own, the way he smells like coconut bodywash with a hint of cigarette smoke.

Louis grinds his hips against Niall, and Niall can't help but cry out. Louis feels so fucking good against him and they're both still fully clothed. Heat starts to build up in Niall's stomach and he's got to force himself to sit up and slow this down before he comes in his pants.

He sits up and Louis does the same, sitting on his knees and pulling his shirt off and throwing it on the floor. He helps Niall get his jumper over his head and giggles a little bit before taking it off completely.

They stare at each other for a moment, both likely wondering if they should go back to kissing or if they should be taking the rest of their clothes off.

“Fuck it,” Louis finally says, leaning back and pulling his jeans and socks off. Niall shrugs and does the same, his clothes landing in a heap on his hardwood floor. He pulls his boxers off too, because why the hell not. He looks up at Louis and doesn't miss him swallowing and hesitating before pulling off his own underwear.

Niall doesn't really get what he was so nervous about. He can't help but look down at Louis's prick. It's a perfect size – hard and leaking and ready to be pushed into Niall. He pulls Louis back down on top of him as the two of them start kissing again, their naked bodies slotted together for the first time. He bends his leg up alongside Louis and presses a hand to his back.

“Louis,” he moans softly into his ear. He grabs Louis's hand and places it down onto his bum. “Touch me...”

Louis hesitates, dragging his lips along Niall's jawline. He works his way up and kisses Niall's neck, stopping behind his earlobe. “Niall,” he whispers, his voice shaking. “I...”

Niall furrows his eyebrows. “Huh?” he presses, worry starting to build up inside of him again.

“I can't do this,” Louis says abruptly, rolling off of Niall and shoving his face into one of Niall's pillows. “Shit,” he mutters.

Niall looks at him for a moment, at a complete loss as to what to do. He places a tentative hand on Louis's back. When Louis doesn't push him away, he rubs at his skin slightly. “S'alright,” he says softly. “We don't have to.”

Louis glances up at him, his face flushed and his eyes glassed over. “Sorry,” he mutters. “Niall, I really like you, I swear. I really wanted this to happen tonight.”

Niall just shakes his head. He's hardly thinking about that anymore. Instead, he shuffles around and pulls the comforter overtop of the two of them. “It's fine,” he stresses, resting his head on the pillow next to Louis and looking at him. “Got loads of time.”

Louis sighs, rolling over onto his back and looking up at the ceiling. He rubs at his temples. “Look...” he starts off slow, taking another deep breath. “I wasn't totally honest with you.”

Niall knits his eyebrows and keeps looking at Louis. “You're not a virgin, are ya?”

That comment seems to break the ice, because Louis snorts with laughter. “Hardly,” he says before turning serious again. “No... before I was with you, I was single for a while. Because I was just in a really shit relationship with another guy for about a year before that. We didn't really like... have anything...” he waves his hand between himself and Niall. “Like, a connection or anything like that? We just sort of got high and fucked. I couldn't hardly tell you anything about his life because that's honestly all we did and I'm just looking for something a bit more than that. I just... I really want to take it slower.” He glances up at Niall a bit hopefully.

Niall bites at his lip. He's torn between being thankful he's sort of drunk for all of this and being frustrated with his clouded head. Louis has finally opened up to him and he's at a loss for how to deal with it.

“I really like you,” Louis says again. “Like, shit. I'm terrified of how much I like you.”

Niall swallows, and he starts to feel tears brim in his eyes. For the first time in a long time, he feels like he's finally got it together. He runs his hand through Louis's hair that's fallen into his face. “Me too,” he says softly, his voice cracking a bit. “I never thought I'd feel like this again.”

“What?” Louis looks at him with concern.

Niall sighs. He supposes it's his turn now to let the cat out of the bag. “I...” he starts off, not really sure where to begin. “I had another boyfriend, for a really long time. Basically all through Uni.”

He stops, looking at Louis and thinking he's going to make some sort of comment. Louis doesn't, he just waits for Niall to continue.

So Niall sighs, the knot in his stomach loosening. “We were together for three years and then when school was over I just... I thought it was going to continue? I thought we'd be together for the rest of our lives, really. Then he got a job in LA, and I already had my job and my flat and we tried to make it work long distance for a while and then...” Niall rolls over, fishing Harry's letter out of his bedside table and handing it to Louis.

Louis skims it for a moment before giving Niall a look.

Niall gulps. Louis is probably going to walk out.

He doesn't. “You know what I think?” he asks, and Niall just shakes his head. Louis grips the piece of paper, crinkling it in his hands and ripping it in half.

Niall just gapes at him. He's had that letter in his bedside table for the better part of a year and for as many times as he's thought about it, he's never been able to bring himself to do that.

“I think... that we don't need them. That we're better off without Harry and Zayn... and with each other,” he finishes quietly, pushing the torn paper off the bed and lacing his fingers with Niall's.

“I think you're right,” Niall whispers, looking into Louis's dark brown eyes. “Don't need 'em.”

Louis nods, cuddling up closer to Niall and kissing him softly. “Got another question for you,” he asks with a smirk.

“Hmmm?” Niall can feel his eyelids dropping, the alcohol in his system finally starting to catch up with him.

“How many times have you had a wank in this bed while thinking about me?” he asks with a devilish grin.

Niall's eyes pop open and Louis bursts into a fit of giggles.

“No comment,” Niall mutters, his cheeks pink as he closes his eyes again.

“I'll make it worth the wait,” Louis says quietly, shuffling to get more comfortable. “I promise.”

“I know you will,” Niall replies, before the two of them fall asleep in each other's arms.

* * *

When Niall wakes up the next morning, he finds a rumpled mess of sheets where Louis was once sleeping. He rubs at his eyes, wondering if Louis got up and left without saying goodbye to him. But when he hears noise coming from inside his flat, he realises that can't be it.

He picks his discarded boxers up off the floor and pulls them on. When he walks out of his room he finds Louis doting about in his kitchenette, wearing his rumpled t-shirt and boxers from the night before.

“What're ya doin'?” he asks with a yawn.

“What's it look like?” Louis laughs, pushing something around in a pan. “Making breakfast. There's tea if you like.” He gestures towards Niall's old blue teapot – one that his mum gave him when he first moved to the UK. Niall doesn't think he's used it in over a year. But Louis must've wiped the dust off of it, because it looks shiny and new.

“You don't mind, do you?” Louis asks, glancing over at Niall and taking a sip of his own tea.

Niall shakes his head. Hardly. It's not like he's got anything in his flat to hide. Anything he was trying to keep away from Louis he already shared the night before.

He fixes himself a mug of tea, watching as Louis pulls a couple plates out of the cupboard and pushes the eggs from the pan onto them. He's got a couple pieces of toast going as well, that pop out at the exact right time. He plates those as well.

Niall just sort of watches in amazement. He's the worst at this – he's never been able to time everything like that. Usually the eggs are done first or the toast is cold and soggy by the time they're done.

“Yeah, I'm kind of a master at breakfast,” Louis laughs, handing one of the plates to Niall. They sit down at Niall's small kitchen table and look at each other. Niall gives Louis a small smile before digging in. Louis's eggs almost melt in his mouth, they're light and fluffy and Niall looks up at him wide-eyed.

“I told you,” Louis just laughs as he continues to eat. “You can thank me later.”

“Jesus,” Niall almost moans as he keeps eating.

“I've gotta be at work in an hour,” Louis says regretfully, cleaning off the rest of his plate. “But... maybe I can see you later? We could just hang out here if you want, or we could see if Liam and Sophia are free?”

Niall nods, taking a generous sip of his tea. Damn, Louis is good at that too. The tea is perfectly steeped, a bit on the strong side, just how he likes it. “Yeah, that sounds good.”

Louis stands up, kissing Niall on the forehead. “Can I have a quick shower?”

“Yeah, sure.”

Niall sighs to himself, watching Louis walk off into his bathroom. He finishes off his mug of tea and gets up to pour himself another. For the first time in a long time, he feels perfectly content.

* * *

Niall's phone buzzes in his pocket when he's sitting at work the following Wednesday. He runs a hand through his hair and stares at his computer screen. He's spent the entire morning cutting together clips and bumpers for Jingle Ball that weekend. He's not even going to that concert and he's already over it.

He pulls his phone out and smirks to himself as he reads Liam's text on the screen.

_ Doing a bit of shopping... wanna meet for lunch? _

Niall glances at the clock. It's 11:30 – just about time for him to go grab something to eat anyway. Which Liam is probably well aware of. He's just seen Liam that weekend. He and Louis spent Saturday night at his and Sophia's place watching movies and playing a particularly heated game of Uno. But after having lived in a dorm with Liam for four years, it's rare he gets sick of seeing him.

So he finds himself waiting outside the Capital FM building fifteen minutes later, with Liam approaching him, shopping bags in tow.

“No work today?” he asks.

Liam shrugs. “Got a bit of banked time, so I'm taking advantage of the weekday and getting some things done,” he laughs, nodding down at his Harrod's bags. “Where do you wanna lunch?”

Niall shrugs. He doesn't really care. He's got a few staple places around here that he usually goes – if Liam hadn't texted him he probably would have just headed over to Pret for a sandwich.

Liam raises his eyebrow. “Or do you usually go over to the chippy?”

Niall laughs. No – he's never actually gone over to the chippy at lunch. He'd sort of thought about doing so this week, but he didn't work up the nerve to actually walk in there. He doesn't even know why he's so worried about it at this point, but he's built it up so much in his head that he just continues sticking to his usual routine instead of going to see Louis at lunch. If Louis is even there. “I've never actually eaten there.”

Liam gapes at him. “The two of you are literally joined at the hip, and you've never gone there for lunch?”

Niall shoves Liam lightly as they start to walk. “Are not.”

Liam makes a big show of rolling his eyes. “Please. You are too. You were all over each other on Saturday – he wouldn't stop touching you. Did you get any sleep this weekend after you went back to your place?” he wiggles his eyebrows suggestively.

Niall gives Liam a look. “We went home separately.” He fiddles with his hands as they continue to walk. “Haven't slept together yet,” he mutters.

“What?!”

Niall rolls his eyes. He doesn't really want to get into this with Liam, but he doesn't really know how he could've avoided it. Since Liam's always got to know everything about everything. “We're taking it slow,” he says simply. “Not rushin' into it.”

“But you like him, right?” Liam presses.

Niall shoves his hands into his pockets and stares down at the cobblestone under his feet. “Yeh,” he says softly. “I really do.”

Liam lightly pats Niall on the shoulder. “That's great, Niall.”

“Shut up, Liam.”

“No, really! You were so depressed. I'm glad you found someone else. You were hung up on Harry for way too long. You're too good for him.”

There's an uncomfortable pang in Niall's chest when Liam mentions Harry's name, but he ignores it. Because Liam's right – he is too good for him. If only he could fully let himself believe that.

“You're just happy that you're the one who introduced us,” Niall laughs, glancing up at Liam.

Liam shrugs, but he keeps grinning. “That  _ is  _ part of it. Oh look,” he says as they stop walking. “Seems like we're at the chippy.”

Niall gives Liam a look – but he's not about to turn back now. He makes a point of glaring at Liam with feigned annoyance as he pushes the door open.

It's not a big shop – there's only a couple tables in the corner. It really does seem like more of a takeaway kind of place. There's a few people in line and when Niall looks behind the counter, there's an older man standing there. He glances at Niall and Liam and smiles.

“Hi, Liam,” he says quickly, before yelling to the back. “LOUIS! Liam's here.”

“You've obviously been here a few times,” Niall mumbles, looking up at Liam.

Liam shrugs just as Louis comes out from the back. “Maybe a few. Hey Lou.”

Louis's eyes brighten when he notices Niall standing there with Liam. He's wearing a black apron and a black hat, his hair pushed up underneath it. “Afternoon, lads. Um... Dave,” he turns to his coworker. “Obviously you know Liam, but this is Niall...”

“Ah,” Dave says, looking at Niall. “The new boyfriend. Well, why don't you take your break then? I'll get some food going for you.”

Niall's heart flutters in his chest at the thought of being Louis's boyfriend. They've never spoken about that before, but he supposes it's true. It's nice to hear it said out loud.

The three of them sit down at one of the tables in the back corner of the shop, and Louis drapes his arm over Niall. “This is a nice surprise,” he says, smiling at Niall.

“I figured it was time he tried some of your world famous chips,” Liam laughs, shrugging off his coat and tossing it over his chair.

Niall shrugs, content to just sit here with Louis. The thoughts of lunch are all but forgotten at this point. Shit, this is why he never comes to visit Louis at lunch. Because now he definitely doesn't want to go back to work. He glances down at his phone. There's still thirty-seven minutes before he needs to be back at his desk.

“Well you won't be disappointed,” Louis says with a grin. “Dave makes 'em better than me, anyway.”

Liam laughs. “That's true.” Before Louis can swat him, he pulls his phone out and points it at Niall and Louis. “I'd say smile, but you're already doing that.”

Niall laughs as he and Louis lean in closer together. Liam snaps a quick picture and looks down, tapping something out on his phone.

“Send that to me, yeah?” Niall asks, leaning over to Liam.

Liam nods. “Yeah, I'm putting it on insta.”

“I guess we're Instagram official now,” Louis says with a grin.

“Guess so,” Niall says warmly, drawing in a breath. He sort of wants to lean in and kiss Louis, but he figures he'd better not since Liam's sitting there and all.

Plus at that moment, Dave stands over their table, plopping down three baskets of fish and chips in front of them. “Enjoy, lads,” he says with a wink, patting Louis affectionately on the head.

The three of them eat their lunch quickly, with only a few minutes of scattered chatter between them. When they leave, Louis plants a soft kiss on Niall's lips. “Good to see you,” he says with a smile.

By the time Niall's back at his desk for the afternoon, he's all smiles. He's got his headphones on and he's back at it with the Jingle Ball bullshit, but it's less monotonous now. He glances down at his phone, scrolling into Instagram. When he sees Liam's post, he can't help but feel almost giddy. There's the picture of him and Louis smiling at the camera, and he can't deny they do look a bit “all over each other” as Liam said earlier. Liam's captioned the picture  _ lunch time with the lads... #truelove _

Niall saves the picture and quickly makes it his phone background before shoving it back into his pocket and forcing himself to get back to work. Maybe true love is a little extreme at this point, but Niall can't deny the warmth collecting in his chest.

* * *

The following Friday, Niall and Louis are sitting at their usual table in the Brown Cow. They've already downed two pints each (choosing to forgo the holiday drinks this time) and eaten dinner. Niall sips on the last of his second beer comfortably, furrowing his eyebrows as Louis looks past him.

“What?” he asks, shuffling in his seat.

“There's a free table,” Louis says pointing at the pool table behind them. “You wanna play?”

Niall turns around and looks. Sure enough, one of the tables is miraculously empty. Usually they're busy the whole evening, the sound of billiards clacking together a stable in the bar. “Sure.”

“You rack 'em up, I'll go get us a couple more drinks,” Louis says, before walking off.

Niall sighs. He can't even remember the last time he played pool, but he supposes it's better than just sitting around. He walks over to the table, putting the balls on the table and setting them up, rolling the formation so it's in the middle of the table.

“Oh Niall,” Louis laughs, coming up behind him. “What're you doing?”

“Rackin' 'em up,” Niall says with a shrug, looking back at Louis.

Louis laughs, setting their drinks down and clasping a hand to his chest. “No,” he sputters out. “You've done it all wrong.”

Niall narrows his eyes at him. “I have not.”

“I assure you you have.” Louis leans over, pulling the triangle towards him and starting to rearrange the balls. “Look, you've got them all in a mess. You've gotta have the 8 ball in the middle, and the others equally dispersed around it. There's an art to it.”

Niall raises his eyebrow. How the hell was he supposed to know that?

“Have you ever played before?” Louis asks, a smirk still on his lips.

“Obviously I've played before,” Niall snaps.

Louis raises his eyebrow. “Really?”

“Like... a while ago,” Niall backtracks. Maybe he played in Uni. Once. When Liam forced him to.

“Okay well, break, then,” Louis says, nodding towards Niall.

“Uh...”

Louis rolls his eyes. “You truly don't know how to play. Here, let me show you.” He stands behind Niall, placing a hand on his hip. “Hold the cue like that...” he angles the cue in Niall's hands, leaning it against the table. He pulls back, motioning for Niall to lean downwards. Gripping Niall's hand, he moves it along the cue, slipping it in between Niall's fingers.

Niall almost shudders at Louis's touch. He's hardly thinking about how to properly hit a ball anymore. His thoughts are focused on Louis's hands, and those hands touching him and exploring him.

“Niall,” Louis says, snapping him out of his fantasy. “Pull the cue back and watch the ball.”

Niall does as he says, trying his best to concentrate and hit the ball like Louis told him. It smacks against the ball, breaking Louis's calculated formation apart swiftly.

“Good,” Louis says softly, standing behind Niall again. “I'll give you one more and then we'll actually play.” He places his hand tightly on Niall's hip and adjusts him.

Niall bites the inside of his cheek. Thank god that Louis is only going to do this once more, because his cock is already twitching inside of his jeans.

“Easy,” he says, pulling Niall back and positioning him over the table again.

Niall turns his head back, looking up at Louis. He's got a cocky smirk on his face, and Niall sort of thinks he might know what he's doing to him. Like he's doing this on purpose, that little shit.

“Just hit it the same way you did before. You'll get the orange one in the corner pocket.”

Niall does as Louis says, but the orange ball goes nowhere near the corner pocket.

Louis snorts, slapping his thighs with laughter. “Well, you weren't going to be pro on your first go, I suppose.” He walks over to the other side of the table, leaning over and expertly hitting the ball, knocking a purple one into a side pocket. “But you're cute to watch.”

Niall laughs too, rolling his eyes and not really caring that he's sort of making a fool of himself. He takes a sip of his beer and leans over to hit another ball. He misses again, but it doesn't really matter. Watching Louis beat him with glee is entertaining enough.

* * *

It's just after half three the following Friday when Niall gets a frantic text from Louis.

_ Need your help. Cant go to the pub tonight. _

Niall furrows his eyebrows. He's just left work and he's on his way to the tube station home. He stops, stepping out of the way of the people walking along the sidewalk and tapping out a reply to Louis.

_ What? What's going on? _

It's only a matter of seconds before he gets a reply back.

_ I'm in Harrods and I need to get gifts for my sisters and I need your fucking help. _

Niall rolls his eyes. It's hardly an emergency, then. Louis is just being overdramatic, which he's come to realise is standard with him. Still, he goes down to the tube station anyway, taking the couple of stops over to Harrod's, because like hell he's going to walk over there when it's -5 outside.

He gets there and finds Louis on the fourth floor, standing in front of a display of Cath Kidston bags, looking helpless. Tapping him on the shoulder, he grins.

“Oh thank god,” Louis says, wrapping Niall in a tight hug. “I am at a fucking loss.”

Niall can't help but laugh. “Really? And you think I'll be able to help you? The only experience I've got is buying gifts for my mum and nan... and Soph.”

Louis throws his hands up. “Then we'll be miserable together.” He picks up a bag off the shelf. “Do you think Lottie would like that?”

Niall raises his eyebrow. “Considering I've never met her...”

“Right,” Louis mutters, putting the bag back onto the shelf. “I've got five sisters, you'd think I'd already know how to do this.”

Niall slings his arm around Louis. “We'll sort it out.” He takes another look at the display. He's truly got no idea what the hell to even suggest, but he's confident they can come up with something. Besides, it's a good thing that they're here because he might as well pick up a gift for his mum while they're at it.

“Phoebe might like this actually,” Louis mutters, picking up the same bag again. “It's big, got a lot of room... girls carry a lot of stuff around, right?”

Niall shrugs. He supposes that's true, but he's never thought about the mechanics of purchasing a bag before. His mum's used the same worn leather bag for as long as he can remember – and there was that one Christmas Greg had splurged and got Denise a Coach bag, but other than that he's got no clue.

“Right, you've got no idea. Me too, but I think this is good.” Louis clutches the bag and leads the way over to the book and stationary area. “Daisy likes to read a lot... do you think she'd like something like this?” he holds up a leather bound journal, splashed with an inspiration saying on the cover.

Niall raises his eyebrow. He's definitely just here as Louis's sounding board for his own thoughts, but he doesn't really mind. “Yes?” he tries, because Louis is probably just looking for validation.

Louis nods, scooping the journal underneath his arm and picking up a set of pens to presumably go with it. Niall can't help but laugh a little to himself at how flustered Louis is, when he's obviously got this all under control.

“Now...” Louis glances around, biting his lip. “The thing Lottie actually likes is makeup...”

Niall crinkles his nose. If he thought he could be in anyway helpful before, there's no way he can now.

“I know,” Louis says, looking at Niall regretfully. “I've truly got no clue.”

“Maybe Soph can help us?” Niall suggests, whipping out his phone.

Louis claps his hands together. “Oh! Good idea. See. This is why I brought you along.”

Niall rolls his eyes. “So I could remind you that an actual female would be better at helping you with this stuff?” he keeps looking down at his phone, waiting for Sophia to respond.

“Exactly,” Louis says with a nod. He peers down at Niall's phone. “Oh look, she's on her way. If I'd have texted her, she'd have called me an idiot. Now, let's find something for your mum, yeah?”

“Uh... sure.” Niall follows as Louis walks out of this section of the store and down the steps to one of the many sections of clothing.

“Burberry?” Niall hisses. “You've gotta be fuckin' mad. How much money do you think I've got?”

Louis just laughs, picking up a clutch. “You can buy your mum something nice, can't you? Here, look at this, it's not that expensive.”

Niall gives him a look and snatches the clutch from Louis's grip. He gapes at the price and sets it back down. Louis just cackles at him.

“You've gotta be fuckin' mad if you think I'm spending almost a month's rent on a gift,” Niall mutters, walking out of the Burberry section and into Coach – which is still ridiculously overpriced, but he figures if Greg can afford something from there, maybe he can too.

“Oh yes, Coach, much more reasonable,” Louis laughs, picking up another brown leather bag, a bit bigger than the Burberry one they'd just looked at. “What about this?”

Niall takes it out of Louis's hands and studies it. He glances at the price tag – it's a bit more reasonable. Not an actual reasonable price for a bag – frankly, he doesn't understand designer labels at all. But It's nice and it's similar to the style his mum's already got and she's likely due for an upgrade.

“Fine,” he says, stuffing it underneath his arm. “You're right, mum deserves something nice.”

Louis pats him on the back. “See? Not so bad coming shopping with me, is it?”

Niall smiles softly, leaning over and kissing Louis on the cheek. “Never.”

The two of them mill about in Harrod's for a little while longer, picking up a couple more gifts for Louis's other sisters until Sophia finally shows up.

“You're both idiots,” she says when she meets them in the makeup section. “Truly.”

Louis hugs her tightly. “You love us. Plus Niall asked you straight away – probably because you always look so dashing.”

Sophia rolls her eyes. “Flattery's not going to get you anywhere, Tommo.”

Niall just laughs, because she starts looking at the different displays and Louis just nods his head knowingly. Of course she's going to help them out – she likes to take the piss out of them but she's not going to leave them high and dry.

Louis laces his fingers with Niall's free hand. He squeezes it tight and looks over at him with a smile. He rubs his thumb softly over Niall's. Niall swallows, sort of thinking that maybe something's about to happen. Maybe here in the middle of this Harrod's Louis is going to tell him that he loves him and maybe Niall's going to say it back.

“Oy, lovebirds,” Sophia interrupts them. Niall snaps back to reality, the moment gone. Louis drops his hand as Sophia hands him some sort of makeup kit. “This is what you should buy for Lottie, trust me.”

Louis looks down at it and Niall peers over his shoulder. It's some package with brushes and whatnot. Certainly not something Niall would've been able to pick out.

“Perfect,” Louis says softly, looking up at Sophia gratefully. “Thank you.”

Sophia waves him off. “Don't worry about it.” Then she looks down at the package in Niall's hands. “Coach?!” she squeals. “Is that for me?”

Niall gives her a look. “Keep dreamin', it's for me mum. Ask Liam if ya want a gift like that.”

She just laughs as they walk over to the cash register. Niall pays for his gift first and walks over to the entrance to wait with Sophia while Louis pays for the multitude of gifts he's carrying.

Sophia sighs, putting her mittens on her hands and crossing her arms over her chest. “This must be so hard for him,” she muses.

Niall furrows his eyebrows. “What? Why?”

She looks over at Louis and then back at Niall. “Ugh, I shouldn't have said anything. I don't think I'm supposed to know about it – I just saw something Lottie posted on Instagram. But his mum passed away last year in December, so this is really the first Christmas season he's got to have without her.”

“Oh, yeah,” Niall says softly, looking over at Louis. He's tapping his foot as he waits for his things to be packaged up. “He said something about that to me.”

Sophia gapes at Niall. “He told you?”

Niall shrugs. “Yeah.”

Sophia shakes her head. “He must have it bad. He never tells anyone anything.”

Niall blushes. That's the second time someone's made a comment about how obvious it is that Louis likes him. Not that he wasn't already well aware of that. “I suppose,” Niall mutters, looking at his feet.

Sophia nudges him. “I sort of thought Liam was mad, setting the two of you up,” she laughs softly, in that way only Sophia knows how to do. “But I was wrong, because you're actually perfect together. Just don't ever tell Liam I said that.”

“I won't,” Niall laughs, knowing Liam would never let Sophia live that comment down. “And thanks.”

Louis chooses that moment to walk over to them, three large green Harrod's bags in tow. “Alright then, now that that's sorted – supper?” he looks over at Niall.

Sophia shoves Louis. “You owe me a drink at least for coming all the way down here and helping you out.”

Louis laughs as the three of them walk outside. Niall hangs back, walking a couple of paces behind them. Louis and Sophia banter back and forth as Niall types out a text to Liam.

_ Make sure you get soph something nice for christmas _

Liam texts him back almost immediately.

_ I've got something in the works... ;) _

With that, Niall stuffs his phone back into his pocket and catches up with Louis. He grabs at his hand and holds it tight as they continue to walk.

* * *

The following week is a flurry of activity. Niall gets a few random texts from Louis throughout the week – but they're not able to see each other until their standing Friday night date. Niall spends every evening frantically shopping and trying to get ready for his trip home, and Louis seems to be doing the same.

Unlike the week before, Louis doesn't cancel their pub date. Niall even texts him that morning just to be sure.

_ We still on for the pub tonight? _

Louis texts him back an hour later.

_ Yeah of course, wouldn't miss it x _

Still, Niall's caught off guard when he steps into the pub at 6:53 that evening and sees Louis sitting at their usual spot – two pints sitting on the table. Niall walks over, shrugging his coat off and sliding his chair closer over to Louis, kissing him quickly before he sits down.

“You're here early,” he quips, taking a sip of his pint.

“I missed you,” Louis says with a smile. “Haven't seen you all week. Been so busy trying to sort things out for Christmas. It's a lot of work.”

Niall nods. “Don't I know it. Shoppin' every evening after work, trying to pack and sort out laundry before I go. My flight leaves at ten tomorrow morning.” Niall rubs his eyes – that means he's gotta be at the airport for eight, which means he's gotta wake up around half-six. He's tired just thinking about it.

Louis just nods, taking a small sip of his pint.

“Are ya hungry?” Niall babbles on. “I could get us food.”

“Sure,” Louis says with another nod, still staring down at his pint.

Niall walks over to the counter, leaning over it and glancing back at Louis. Something seems off – he's here early, he's not really touching him at all, he's just quieter than usual. He shakes his head – trying to push the thought out of his mind. He's probably just worrying about nothing. After quickly ordering their food (bangers and mash for Louis, fish and chips for himself) he sits back down at their table.

“So...” he starts off, racking his brain for a topic of conversation. “Did ya end up getting all your gifts sorted then?”

Louis nods. “Yeah.”

Niall narrows his eyes. “Yeah? Like what'd you get?”

Louis shrugs. “Like... the stuff you saw when you were with me at Harrod's. And then a couple things for Dan... mum's husband,” he clarifies.

“Right.” Niall takes a sip of his pint. “I think I'm done too,” he shuffles a bit. He actually went back and forth a bit on if he should get something for Louis. In the end he did – but it's in his flat and he figures he can just give it to him later.

“Did you get something for your brother?” Louis asks, looking up from his pint.

“Uh...” Niall sort of gulps. “No.” He's never bought Greg a present – not since they were kids and their gifts to each other were really gifts from their parents with their names on the label.

Louis just nods again taking another sip of his pint.

Niall places a hand on his shoulder, because he's getting sort of worried now. He's keenly aware that somewhat worried is usually his default state, but something's definitely off. “You alright?”

Louis looks up at him, his eyes wide like he hadn't expected Niall to ask that. “Yeah,” he says softly, giving Niall his best reassuring look. “Fine.”

“You sure?” Niall presses, leaning in closer. “Cause you're actin' weird.”

Louis just shakes his head and takes another sip. “I'm fine.”

Niall raises his eyebrow, but he lets it go. “I uh... got ya something for Christmas,” he says, trying to figure out how to approach this without making it sound like more than it is. “It's at my flat though, you could come get it afterwards. No pressure, I just thought-”

“We should have sex,” Louis blurts out, cutting Niall off.

Niall almost laughs. “What?”

Louis leans in closer to him. “I want to have sex.”

Niall places his hand on Louis's thigh. “Is this because I bought you a gift? Because we don't have to...”

Louis just laughs, leaning back and seemingly relaxing a bit. Now it makes sense – he's probably been waiting to say that ever since he got here. Nervous about it and going over it again and again in his head. Niall knows that feeling well. “No, Niall.” He cocks his head to the side and smiles. “You're really sweet and I just... I think it's time.”

“Cause you said you didn't want to rush things...” Niall leans into him, he's practically whispering now, even though he's sure no one's listening to their conversation.

“We're not,” Louis stresses. “Believe me, I've been thinking about this for weeks.”

“Okay.” Niall lets out a breath, suddenly feeling nervous all over again. When sex was off the table, things were a bit easier. There was no pressure – but suddenly with it back on without him expecting it a thousand thoughts fill his head. Is his room presentable? (Obviously it is.) Are his sheets washed? (Of course they are.) Is he ready for Louis to see him naked? (He already has, so it's a moot point.)

“Niall?” Louis asks tentatively. “Sorry, we don't have to-”

“No!” Niall shakes his head quickly “No, no, no, I want to.” He swallows. “Did ya want to eat first? Cause the food's already comin' and...”

Louis just chuckles, leaning back in his head. “Oh Niall. Yes, we can eat first,” he pats Niall on the thigh, leaning over and kissing him softly. “You're adorable... I...” he touches Niall's hair before leaning back, taking another sip of his pint and humming.

Niall furrows his eyebrows. Louis was definitely about to drop another bomb on him – he can feel it. Maybe he should break and just say it first. It's not like he hasn't been wrestling with it. It's just that there's a never been a good time, and he's never been the first one to say it. When Harry said it, it was softly outside campus while they were waiting for a train. He'd just leaned over and told him he loved him before kissing him. And Niall had been too stunned to say it back immediately.

But this time, the moment fleets by and Niall doesn't say anything. Instead he takes a sip of his own drink, lost in his own thoughts about what the hell he's going to do with these feelings swimming inside him.

“I got you a Christmas gift too, by the way,” Louis says with a smirk. His arms are crossed over his chest and he gives Niall a bit of a look. “But you can't have it yet, since mine's at your place.”

Niall rolls his eyes. “Come on!”

Louis laughs, fishing a small wrapped box out of his coat pocket and handing it to Niall. Niall thumbs the wrapping paper and looks at the tag.

_ Niall, Happy Christmas. Love, Louis. Xx _

Shit, he didn't write anything like that on the tag. He didn't even put a tag on his gift. His heart speeds up, urging him with every beat to just get over himself and tell Louis that he fucking loves him already so it's out in the open and he doesn't have to worry about it anymore.

“Well, go on then.” Louis motions for Niall to open the gift.

Niall picks at the tape, slowly ripping off the paper to reveal a small white box. He opens the lid, and sitting there on a bed of cotton are three black guitar picks, embossed with his initials.

“You said you played a bit of guitar on our first date,” Louis starts to explain, glancing up at Niall. “Remember?  _ Wonderwall _ ?”

“I remember,” Niall almost whispers, still staring down at the picks. How the hell did Louis remember something like that? Shit, he got Louis a black wool jumper because he's the actual worst at buying meaningful gifts. “Thanks.”

“You're welcome. Maybe you can learn how to play  _ Love Yourself,”  _ he giggles, taking the last sip of his pint before standing up to get himself another.

Niall pulls his phone out of his pocket, feeling the urge to text Liam. Not that he knows what he'd say. That Louis got him a Christmas present? That he doesn't know how the hell he's supposed to say “I love you,” and that he's been fighting with that the entire week? That they're about to fuck and even though he shouldn't be, it's going to be their first time and he's sort of nervous about it?

So he just stares at his home screen until Louis comes back.

“Here, I got you another,” Louis says, setting the pint down in front of Niall before sitting back down. “What? I was gone for two minutes and you missed me so much you had to stare at a picture of me?” He nods at Niall's phone– his background is still that picture of the two of them sitting at the chippy.

“Ha,” Niall says dryly, putting his phone back into his pocket. “I was just gonna text Liam.”

“Sure,” Louis says with a sarcastic laugh. “Hey, do you think he's proposing to Soph? I bet he is.”

“What? No.”

“No, I really think he is. He made some comment to me about how he was shopping in De Beers, and when I asked him what the hell he was getting for Sophia for Christmas he changed the subject rather quickly.” Louis raises his eyebrows, taking a sip. “He's definitely proposing to her.”

Niall forces himself to think back to his conversations with Liam instead of focusing on everything else going on in his mind. “Well... he did say something to me about having something in the works. Like, when I told him he should get something nice for her for Christmas.”

Louis smacks his thighs with his hands. “He's definitely proposing to her!” he repeats. “Oh, so exciting. Do you think she has any idea?”

“I doubt it. I had no idea until you said anything.”

Louis smirks. “That's because you're oblivious, love.” He reaches up and touches Niall's hair again and smiles at him softly.

Niall just kind of shuffles a bit, not knowing what to say. He's not oblivious! He was pretty aware something was weird with Louis when he showed up and he was right. And he's pretty sure Louis is teetering on telling him he loves him too – he's been pretty sure of that the whole week. Because of a couple incidents in Harrod's and then there was another weird moment where Louis just looked at him after they had dinner last Saturday night. Niall said “What?” with a laugh and Louis just kept looking at him and smiling before he said “Nothing,” and went back to finishing his drink.

Luckily, their food shows up right at that moment. Niall picks at his chips while Louis eats his like he hasn't eaten in a year. Obviously any worry he's got isn't affecting his appetite.

“You alright?” Louis asks when the waitress comes back twenty minutes later to collect his empty plate – Niall's still got half his chips and a full piece of fish left on his.

“Yeah, fine,” he lies, getting worked up all over again.

Louis just shakes his head. “Finish your beer and let's go back to your place.”

Niall nods, gulping down the last few sips of beer and standing up. He pulls his coat on over his shoulders and he and Louis leave the pub together, hands laced together tightly as they walk the few minutes over to Niall's flat.

They fall into Niall's bed, not bothering to flick on a light of any kind. The dim glow of the streetlamps outside are the only thing that illuminates them as they kiss quietly.

Louis slips his hand underneath Niall's jumper, tugging at it and eventually pulling it off over his head. He pulls his own t-shirt off and Niall can't help but think he must have been cold, walking around with only that underneath his coat. So maybe the jumper he got him is a good gift after all.

Louis pulls back, kissing Niall's collarbone. Niall hooks his arm around Louis's neck and takes a deep breath. This is a lot easier than the last time they tried – than the two of them being drunk and slightly uncomfortable. His heart's still going a million miles an hour – pounding in his chest with anticipation, but at least he's not scared this time. More excited about what's to come while wanting every second of it to last.

Louis shuffles downwards, unzipping Niall's jeans and slowly pulling them off along with his boxers. He giggles and pulls Niall's socks off too.

“M'feet are gonna get cold,” Niall jokes, glancing down at Louis with a wink. Louis just shakes his head as he pulls the rest of his own clothes off.

“I'll not be shagging you with socks on,” he says, shaking his head and crawling back up Niall's bed, stopping at his midsection. “Such a pretty cock,” he mumbles, before popping it in his mouth.

Niall gasps, unable to stop himself from arching his back and moaning. He's painfully hard already, and Louis's hot mouth around the wet tip of his prick is more than he was expecting. He groans as Louis slowly bobs his head around his entire length and reaches down to tangle his hands in his hair.

Fuck, he's really going to have to remember to thank Liam for setting them up. Then he thrashes his head to the side, trying to shake Liam out of his brain. His friend is truly the last thing he wants to be thinking about right now.

After a few minutes – Louis slides his lips off of Niall's cock and glances up at him. He's a sight – mouth pink with saliva and eyes half-open and mischievous. He traces his finger around Niall's hole and Niall's breathing gets heavy again, impatiently waiting for Louis to touch him.

“Niall,” Louis whispers, locking eyes with him. “Do you have any...?”

“Oh,” Niall says, swallowing and rolling over to his bedside table. He pulls out a bottle of lube and a condom and sets them down on the bed. “Yeah.”

Louis coats two of his fingers in a way that seems painfully slow. He gives Niall a soft smile before shuffling downwards again and pushing one of his fingers inside.

Niall draws in a sharp breath at the intrusion.

“Relax, love,” Louis says quietly. “It's only me.”

Yes, it's only Louis. The boy that two months ago he was waiting for, wishing that going on a blind date wasn't something that he had to do. The boy who boasted that he was in a Green Day cover band – Niall had rolled his eyes and went home wondering what the hell he'd gotten himself into. The boy who he'd taken a train to Bracknell for and watched with tears stinging his eyes as he thought about Harry.

He can't even fathom all that now.

Louis adds a second finger, continuing to work him through Niall's winces. “You alright?” Louis asks at one point.

Niall's better than alright. It's been a long time since he's done this, and it hurts a little bit but it's a small price to pay for this moment and what's to come. For the feeling of Louis's cock inside him and the two of them finally being together.

“M'fine,” Niall says through deep breaths. “M'ready for ya.”

Louis glances up at him, as though to ask again if Niall's sure. Niall eagerly nods his head, ready for this to be over and for Louis to climb on top of him. Louis sits up on his knees, tearing open the condom package and rolling it onto himself, coating his covered cock with lube and hovering over Niall.

He kisses Niall on the forehead before reaching downward and pushing himself inside.

Niall moans softly as Louis slides all the way inside of him, their bodies lined up.

“You alright?” Louis asks him again. There's a rough edge to his voice, like he's turned on but he wants to wait and make sure Niall's fine before going any further.

Niall nods, nudging Louis and kissing him softly as if to tell him that he's really fine. Physically, he's okay. Emotionally he's full – Louis is kind and warm and loving and Niall can't believe that he's all his.

Louis starts to gently roll his hips against Niall, sliding in and out of him slowly and clinging to him tight. He slips his hand underneath Niall, pressing it onto his back and holding him as he starts to move faster, easing into a steady pace.

Soft moans fill the walls of Niall's room as they move together. The initial pain has melted away replaced with heat building in Niall's abdomen, threatening to release quicker than he wants. He lifts his leg up slowly so Louis has a better angle.

Louis grips his thigh and thrusts into him hard and Niall cries out. He looks up at him – the long fringe of his brown hair is moving along with him, brushing up against his eyes. Niall swallows, wrapping his arms around Louis tightly.

“Louis,” he says softly, the words toppling out of his mouth before he can stop them. “I love you.”

The two of them look at each other and Niall's chest tightens. Louis's eyes shine bright before he responds. “I love you too,” he whispers, enveloping Niall's mouth in a kiss.

They cling to each other tighter and Niall moans as Louis grips at his skin. Louis's body brushing against his cock is driving him crazy. He's aching for release, pre-come dripping down onto his stomach but he bites his lip and tries to hold on. He'd make this last forever if he could. This first time with this new boy he loves.

“Niall,” Louis moans into his ear. “I'm close. I'm so close.”

Niall grips at Louis's sides, pulling him down tighter against him and rutting up against him. He moans as the friction relieves the pressure building inside of him and his whole body tenses up as he comes, the thick mess of it landing in between the two of them.

Louis follows right behind, thrusting faster and digging his fingers into Niall's shoulders as he moans loudly. His eyes are knitted shut when he stops, mouth hanging open as his cock twitches inside of Niall, spilling out into the condom.

They collapse together, panting and trying to catch their breath on the soft mattress of Niall's bed.

“Wow,” Louis finally says, breaking the silence.

“Yeah...” is all Niall can bring himself to say.

Louis pulls out, taking off the condom and balling it up with some tissues. He cleans the two of them off before laying back down beside Niall. The two of them cuddle together in silence for a couple of minutes before Louis breaks it again.

“Did you mean it?” he asks softly.

Niall swallows. He knows what Louis is asking, but he asks for clarification anyway. Because this is still so new to him. “What?”

“You said you loved me, did you mean it?” Louis asks, gently tugging at Niall's shoulder so they're facing each other. “Or was it just something you said in the moment?”

Niall softens. How can Louis think he was anything less than sincere? Of course he loves him. He loves everything about him – the way he jokes around with his mates (well, Liam) and the way he obviously cares about his sisters. His hard exterior that Niall knows now is just a defence mechanism, that he's slowly breaking down.

“I love you,” he affirms, kissing him. “I meant it.”

Louis blinks a couple of times before collecting himself. “I meant it too. I've never said that to anyone before.”

Niall just hums, kissing Louis once more before laying back down. Obviously he can't say that back, but it doesn't matter. All that matters is that he's here with Louis now. He closes his eyes, ready to fall asleep. Louis drapes his arm overtop of him and the two of them are out within minutes.

* * *

Niall's phone alarm buzzes from its spot on the floor, stuck inside his jeans pocket. It takes him a moment to realise what's going on. Louis is still draped overtop of him, sleeping soundly.

Niall groans – right, he's got a plane to catch. He rubs at his eyes before crawling over to the floor and retrieving his phone, switching off the alarm. Half-six is far too early for the morning after. Especially when the boy in his bed is so lush and he's got to leave him for four days.

“What's going on?” Louis asks groggily, looking up at Niall. He doesn't bother to sit up, his head still half in the pillow.

Niall sighs. “I gotta go to the airport.”

“Hmmmm...” Louis rolls over, pulling the covers back overtop of him. Niall shakes his head, but walks over to the bathroom all the same. Might as well let Louis sleep in while he takes a shower and gets ready.

Half an hour later, Niall's washed up, dressed and ready to go. He wheels his suitcase over to his door and calls for a car. The Uber's going to be there in ten minutes, so he sits down on the bed and gently shakes Louis awake.

“Hmmmm...” Louis rolls over and looks at him. “You're all dressed up.”

Niall looks down at his green jumper and jeans. He's hardly dressed up. “I've gotta go,” he says regretfully. “Car's comin'. But you can stay here for a bit if ya like...” he touches Louis's hair softly. “There's an extra key in the kitchen, I left it out for ya. Just lock up when you go.” It was Harry's key originally, but Louis doesn't need to know that.

“Thanks,” Louis says, still looking at him. “Happy Christmas, Niall.”

Niall snaps his fingers. Shit, he almost forgot. “Wait,” he says, walking over to his closet and pulling out the wrapped gift for Louis. He hands it to him, and Louis finally sits up.

“Ah yes,” he laughs, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. “The real reason I came over here last night.”

“It's not great,” Niall starts off as Louis tears into the wrapping paper. “I'm shit at buying gifts, honestly. I just thought you might like that. I don't know...”

Louis holds the jumper up in front of himself and studies it for a moment.

“I can take it back if ya hate it.”

Louis clutches it and crawls over to the edge of the bed, hugging Niall tightly and kissing him on the cheek. “This is lovely, I'd never buy something this nice for myself,” he says with a smile, looking back down at it and thumbing the soft wool of it. “I love it. I love you.”

“Love you too,” Niall says softly, hugging him back. Dammit, why'd he decide to go back to Ireland for the holidays? He could still be in his warm bed with his warm boyfriend.

“Now go,” Louis stresses, pushing him away slightly. “You've got a plane to catch. I'll see you when you get back.”

Niall nods, pressing a final kiss to Louis's lips before walking away. “Happy Christmas,” he says before walking out of his room. Louis has already fallen back down into his bed. Niall can't exactly blame him, and he doesn't exactly mind.

* * *

Niall rubs his hands together as he stands at baggage claim. It's cold in the airport, the doors opening and letting in the brisk air.

He pulls his phone out of his pocket and sends a quick text to Louis.  _ Made it home safe x _

Louis texts him back right away.  _ Glad to hear it x haven't left your flat yet today hahaha _

Niall rolls his eyes.  _ Don't mess it up! _

He can't help but laugh at Louis's obvious joke of a response.  _ Too late. Pizza boxes everywhere. Thought i'd flip over the couch for fun ;) _

Niall's so engrossed in his conversation with Louis that he doesn't notice his mum walk up beside him. “What're you smiling about?” she asks and Niall nearly jumps.

“Jesus!” he clasps a hand to his chest before hugging her tightly. “Hi Mum.”

“You look happy,” she says softly, pulling away from him and smiling. “It's so nice to see.”

Niall shuffles a bit uncomfortably. The last time he saw her was in the summer, when she'd come to visit him in London. Back when he was still crying himself to sleep every night over Harry. “Thanks,” he mutters, looking over at the baggage carousel. After a couple of minutes his suitcase shows up and he picks it up, wheeling it out to her car.

They drive in silence for a few minutes, leaving the airport and driving out onto the streets that'll eventually take them back to her house. Niall leans his head against the glass of the window. He misses Louis, but he can't deny it's nice to be home.

“So,” Maura says, turning down the radio and letting  _ Despacito  _ fade into the background. “I've seen that you've got a new boyfriend.”

Niall turns to face her in shock. He's told her nothing of the sort.

“Liam posted a picture of the two of you on Instagram,” she clarifies, nodding at him like that's a thing he really should know. Which he does – he's just not sure how she's aware of it.

“Since when do you have Instagram?”

“I don't,” she laughs. “I just look at yours and your friends sometimes.”

Niall covers his face with his hands. Holy hell, this is embarrassing. “Christ, Mum.”

“Well, you don't tell me anything so I've got to get updates somehow!”

He supposes he can't argue with her on that – but he meant to keep it quiet for a little while longer. He's not really sure why – maybe it's because that whole thing with Harry ended so badly. Plus she likes to make a big deal out of everything, sort of like she's doing right now.

“So... what's he like? What's his name?” she presses.

“What, you didn't find that out from Instagram?”

“He doesn't appear to have one,” she says confidently, gripping the steering wheel and giving him a look.

Niall can't help but burst out laughing. “He does have one, suppose you're not as good at Instagram as you thought.”

She just gives him a look.

“Anyway...” Niall draws out, playing with his hands and twisting his fingers together. “His name's Louis. Liam introduced us.”

“Good on Liam, you needed to get back out there,” she says slowly. “How's he doing? Did you know he and Sophia went ice skating yesterday?”

Niall puts his head in his hands and makes a mental note to let Liam and Sophia know that his mum's now stalking their pages. “I saw that, yeah. He's good.”

She asks him a few more questions about Louis as they continue on their drive. Niall answers them easily, not quite sure why he was so worried about telling her about what was going on.

“So you'll have to bring him here to meet us one day, hmmm?” Maura asks once they pull up to her house.

Niall nods slowly. He supposes he will.

* * *

After two days of visiting with his family, eating a lot of food and heading out to the pub with his old friends, Niall can't help but sleep in a little on Christmas morning. He finally wakes up around 11 – which is fine. No one's itching to open gifts awfully early anymore. Plus they've decided to wait until his brother's family shows up so they can all open gifts together.

He rolls over and picks up his phone. He's got what looks to be a million texts staring him in the face. The first one is from Sophia – it's a picture of her hand adorned with a diamond ring sitting on a simple gold band.  _ DID YOU KNOW ABOUT THIS??!!??!?  _ the text reads.

Niall laughs softly to himself. So Louis was right after all.  _ Not a clue. Congrats Soph x  _ He sends back to her. Then he sends out a similar text to Liam.

He's got a few texts from Louis.

_ You must've got Sophia's ring selfie by now. Told youuuuuuuuu _

_ Are you still asleep??? Party too hard at the pub last night?? Ha x _

_ NIALL. DAN GAVE ME A NESPRESSO. WE ARE GOING TO DRINK SO MUCH COFFEE. _

_ Lottie loves my jumper by the way. She says you obviously have good taste x _

_ niallllll wake uppppp _

The smile on Niall's face widens with every text he reads. He sends one back.  _ Just woke up hahaha i saw Soph's text. You were right... Love ya x i knew you'd look fit in the jumper _

He scrolls though his social media for a bit and texts back and forth with Louis a few times before there's a knock at his door. “Niall,” his mum's voice calls out to him. “Greg, Denise and Theo are here, we're going to open gifts.”

Niall sighs, pulling on a t-shirt and pyjama pants and holding onto his phone as he walks out into the family room. There's presents stacked high, and his small nephew is sitting on the floor eagerly holding his stocking and looking like he's about a second away from tearing into it.

“Hi Theo,” Niall says warmly, sitting down on the sofa next to his mum. “Happy Christmas.”

Theo looks up at him with a smile and then glances over at Denise, as if to ask her if he can start opening.

“Go ahead,” she laughs, and he wastes no time tearing into it. The group of them watch him for a while, until he gets everything out of his stocking and opens a candy cane. “So Niall, I've heard there's a new boy.”

Greg scowls at her, but Denise and Niall both ignore him. “Yeh, Louis.” He pulls up a picture on his phone – a selfie Louis has just sent of him and Lottie.

“Oh he's cute,” Denise says, handing Niall his phone back.

“You couldn't be dating the girl instead?” Greg asks, raising his eyebrow.

“Nope,” Niall says shortly. He turns his attention back to his phone, where Louis has just sent him another text.

_ Liam's asking what we're doing for New Year's... what're we doing? _

Niall doesn't really know. He hasn't thought about it – last year he'd spent it with Liam, Sophia and Harry at Liam and Sophia's flat. So he supposes it's his turn to have people over.

_ They could come to my place if ya want. Get drinks and watch movies. Just chill? _

Niall smiles as Louis texts him back.  _ Sounds good x _

* * *

Niall steps out of the baggage claim doors at Heathrow two days later to a welcome surprise. Standing just outside is Louis, hands in his pockets with a bright smile on his face. He's also holding a piece of paper that's got  _ HORAN  _ scrawled on it.

Niall would run over to him if he weren't wheeling a huge suitcase behind him.

“What're you doing here?” he asks, not wasting any time in kissing him on the mouth. He knew he missed Louis while he was away, but it's not until he's back that he realises how much.

Louis shrugs, handing Niall the sign with his name on it. “Thought I'd come meet you... I've got band practice in a couple hours so I'd not see you until tomorrow otherwise.”

Niall's aware of that. Louis texted him that on Boxing Day, saying he'd ditch it if Niall wanted him to. To which Niall said that was ridiculous and they'd just see each other on Thursday.

“Well, I'm glad you're here,” he says as they start to walk out to the tube station. “Mum loved the bag by the way.”

“I trust you told her I helped you pick it out.” Louis takes Niall's hand and holds it tightly as they continue on their way.

“I did. She said I'll have to keep you around.”

Louis laughs. “I'll have to agree with her on that.”

They reach the tube station and eventually the train comes. It's not as busy as Niall anticipated it would be, given it's the first day back to the real world after Christmas. They find seats next to each other easily, Niall resting his arms on his luggage.

“Oh, I almost forgot,” Louis says after a few minutes. He digs into his pockets and pulls out the key to Niall's apartment. “Here's your key back.”

Niall takes it from him and then reconsiders. There's not really any reason Louis has got to give that back. It'll just be easier for both of them if he can come and go as he pleases, especially with the two of them being on such different work schedules. So he just hands it back. “You keep it,” he says with a shrug.

Louis narrows his eyes at him. “Niall...”

“What? You don't have to move in or anything like that. Just to make things easier for when you come over.”

Louis chuckles and puts the key back in his pocket. “Alright. Thanks.”

“Also, I've never been to your place,” Niall says. He hasn't just realised that, but it seems as good a time as any to bring it up.

Louis shuffles a bit. “It's just a small flat in Greenwich.”

“What's wrong with that? Greenwich is nice.” Niall only ever goes over there when he's going to a show at the O2, but he's always sort of liked it.

Louis gives him a look. “We can go there one day if you want, but it's far and you live a lot closer to everyone.” He's not wrong about that. It's part of the reason Niall never goes over there, it's pretty far from where he lives.

“Well, I'd still like to see it. And you've got to show me your Nespresso. Unless you want to set it up at my place,” he says with a smirk.

Louis rolls his eyes. “Please, there's no way I'm giving you my Nespresso. But you're right – you've got to try it. It'll change your life. Dan gave me all these different flavours to try, the caramel one is absolutely divine. I saved one for you.”

“Thanks,” Niall says, resting his head on Louis's shoulder. It's good to be home.

* * *

Four days later, Niall's tidying up his flat in anticipation of Louis, Liam and Sophia to come over and ring in the new year. He's got beer chilling in the fridge (and a bottle of Merlot for Sophia), some appetizers in his freezer ready to be cooked up and a couple trays of veggies.

It's more than enough food for the four of them, but he figures he can nibble on it for the next few days afterwards. Louis is also coming over straight from work with the promise he'd bring a bottle of champagne and some treats from the bakery next to the chippy.

Niall glances at the clock. It's almost half-three. Louis should be here any minute – of course that's not taking into account that he's always late, but still. He's been getting better about that lately.

Niall goes back to wiping the dust off of his telly and straightening up and sure enough, fifteen minutes later there's a knock at his door.

He furrows his eyebrows. “You know, I gave ya the key...” he says as he pulls the door open. As soon as he does, all the colour drains from his face. “Harry?”

Standing there is the boy who broke his heart almost a year ago. He looks completely different – his long hair is shorter, cut just above his ears. He's wearing some kind of fancy dress shirt that's half buttoned down, instead of his typical Rolling Stones or Fleetwood Mac concert tee.

Niall gulps. What the fuck is he doing here?

“Hey, Niall,” Harry says softly, leaning inwards slightly.

Niall doesn't move. He certainly doesn't let Harry into his flat, but he doesn't back away from him either. It's like he's frozen in shock – this is the last person he expected to see. And fuck, Louis is on his way here. He's going to be here any minute now for sure. Even taking into account how late he usually is. He finished his shift at half-two, went to go pick up those couple of things and taking the tube from there takes about half an hour...

“What are you doing here?” Niall asks, crossing his arms over his chest. He's annoyed now, everything's supposed to be perfect and Harry's come and cocked it up.

“Uh,” Harry says, running a hand through his much shorter hair. He's got a soft smirk on his face, the same one that Niall remembers him having. He used to be a lot more fond of it. “I went to visit the family for Christmas but I figured I've got a night in London...”

Niall's eyes widen as he mentally fills in the rest. Harry spent Christmas with his mum, Robin and Gemma up in Holmes Chapel. But he's probably got a flight back to LA tomorrow and he thought he'd just crash at Niall's flat. Because obviously he'd just be sitting at home waiting for him to come back, even just for a night. To welcome him back into his life with open arms only for him to leave the next morning and break his heart all over again.

Maybe six months ago that would have been true, but now Niall's not having it.

“Can I come in?” Harry asks with a slight laugh.

Anger bubbles up in Niall's chest. No! No Harry can't come in. Fuck – he's got a million other friends in London. Why the hell's he got to show up here of all places?

“No,” Niall says sharply. “No, you can't come in. Jesus, Harry.”

Harry just looks at him with his eyebrows knitted. His dimples are still poking into his cheeks with that stupid smile that tells Niall he thinks they're just flirting. That Niall's going to let him in eventually. “What? Why not?”

Why not? Because it took Niall fucking ages to get over him, that's why not. Because he's got a new boyfriend now and he's a hell of a lot better than Harry ever was. That's why not. “You left,” is all Niall says instead of all the reasons that jump into his head.

“Yeah, I know,” Harry says, the smile finally fading from his face. “But Niall, I had to. We had to break up. You understand that, don't you?” he leans over and touches Niall's face as he talks down to him in that condescending way he always does. Like he always knows what's best and that Niall knows nothing.

Niall sharply moves away from him. “Oh I know,” he spits. “I read your fuckin' letter.”

“Niall...”

“Don't 'Niall' me. We were together for three years, Harry. And I didn't even deserve a conversation? Fuck off. Showin' up here, thinkin' that you can just spend the night with me cause you've got nowhere else to go. That I've got nothin' else to do.” He's getting more upset by the second now, crossing his arms over his chest with a huff.

“Well... do you?” Harry asks him, like he doesn't believe it.

“I do, actually. Liam and Soph are comin' over later. And Louis is on his way here.”

“Lou-” Harry starts, but Niall cuts him off.

“Boyfriend,” Niall says sharply. “Or did you not see it on Instagram?”

“I don't do social media anymore,” Harry mutters.

“No, of course ya don't,” Niall says, his accent thickening up the way it does when he's angry. “Why would ya want to keep up with us?”

Just Niall's luck, Louis chooses that moment to round the corner down the hall. He's looking down at his champagne and clutching a paper bag from the bakery. “Prosecco better be alright because I literally know nothing about this shit,” he's mumbling to himself before looking up. He glances at Harry as he stops in front of Niall's door. “Oh. Hello.”

“Louis,” Harry says slowly, glancing over at Niall.

“Uh, yeah,” Louis says with a bit of a laugh. “And you are...?”

“Harry,” he says, still staring down at him.

Louis stiffens, but only for a moment. Only enough for Niall to notice. “Ah.” He turns to Niall. “I'd ask if I can come in, but you've given me a key so that grants me entry for life,” he says with a grin, clutching his keys as Niall steps aside to let him into his flat.

“That was mine,” Harry says, looking at Niall with annoyance that he's got no right to have.

“Right, well, now it's mine,” Louis says with a shrug, walking into Niall's flat and putting the champagne in the fridge. He walks back over to Niall and gives him a quick kiss on the cheek. “I'm gonna go have a shower before Liam and Soph get here.” he says before walking away.

Niall swallows and looks back up at Harry. What the fuck's he still standing here for?

“Look, Niall,” Harry says slowly, clutching the handle of the bag he's got slung over his shoulder. “I'm really sorry.”

Niall sighs. He doesn't care what Harry thinks anymore. And he's got no reason to talk to him any longer. “Right well, I'm not,” he says quickly. “Bye, Harry.” With that, he clicks the door shut and walks into his bedroom.

Louis is in there, sitting on the bed and looking up at Niall.

“Thought you were havin' a shower,” he says, fiddling with the hem of his jumper. It's a soft tan colour, his mum gave it to him for Christmas.

Louis stands up, wrapping his arms around Niall. “I'm going to. Are you alright? What was that about?”

Niall sighs. He's annoyed that Harry showed up, but he's gone now. No harm done. And with Louis here and their friends about to come over, he's actually feeling content. “Nothing,” he says softly. “And I'm actually fine.” He pulls away from Louis, but not without a kiss.

Louis reaches up and affectionately pets his hair, the way that he always does when they have a soft moment. “Glad to hear it. Now I'm actually going to have a shower, because I smell.”

Niall snorts. “Yeah you do.”

* * *

By 11:55, Liam, Sophia, Louis and Niall are feeling pretty good. The Boddy's and Old Tripp Niall stocked up on are almost gone, as is Sophia's bottle of Merlot. As Niall predicted, there's still plenty of food left, but they made a pretty sizable dent in it.

“We should've done this in Times Square, you know,” Louis says, his arm slung around Niall as they sit on his sofa. Liam and Sophia pulled chairs in from the kitchen, but by this time in the evening they've cuddled up on a blanket on the floor.

“What's wrong with this?” Liam says, gesturing to the telly, where they're watching live coverage of the celebrations in Central London, and a fireworks display that's about to go off over the London Eye.

“Nothing, Liam,” Louis says. “I'm just saying, New York would've been a laugh. We should do that sometime.”

“Maybe if your band takes off you can play there,” Niall says with a smirk. Liam and Sophia both laugh.

“Yes, thank you Niall,” Louis says, obviously choosing to ignore Niall's sarcasm. “You know, we've actually got an original song now.”

“You do not,” Liam says, rolling his eyes.

“We do too,” Louis counters, grinning ear to ear and giving Liam a look. “And we're debuting it at a show in Slough in February. Which I expect you lot to be at.”

The three of them give an overly dramatic groan, and Louis throws a pillow at Liam. Niall laughs softly, wrapping his arms around Louis's waist. “You know I wouldn't miss it.”

“I know,” Louis responds, smiling softly at Niall.

“Oy, Lovebirds,” Sophia says, standing up and holding up her half-finished glass of wine. “It's two minutes to midnight, so I propose a toast. To Niall, who graciously let us come over and mess up his place tonight.”

Niall raises his bottle of beer. “You're helpin' me clean it up tomorrow.”

Sophia laughs. “Of course. To love, without which we wouldn't be here tonight.”

“Awwww,” Louis coos, wrapping his arms around Niall and making a show of smacking a kiss on his cheek.

“And to new beginnings,” she finishes, smiling over at Louis and Niall.

“And to old romance.” Louis grins, holding up his own beer. “And Liam, who's gotta help plan a wedding this year.”

Liam groans, putting his head in his hands.

Sophia just rolls her eyes as she sits back down, patting him on the back. “Look, the countdown's starting.”

The four of them stare at the telly as the numbers count down from ten, washing 2017 away. Niall glances over at Louis. When this year began he had no idea this was how he'd be ending it.

“Three... two ...one ... happy new year!” They all shout out with laughter. With  _ Auld Lang Syne  _ playing through the screen in the background, Louis turns and softly kisses Niall.

“Happy New Year, Niall,” he whispers as he slowly pulls away.

Niall sighs happily. New beginnings, indeed. “Happy New Year, Louis.”

**Author's Note:**

> [tumblr post](http://sakabelle.tumblr.com/post/170166667387/paper-dreams-written-for-1drarepairfest)
> 
> come talk to be on [tumblr](http://sakabelle.tumblr.com/) or [twitter!](https://twitter.com/sakabelle)


End file.
